The more I think about this post, it struck me that ‘enabler’ is often used in a negative sense isn’t it? It’s one of those words like ‘gaslighter’ that’s fashionable.
Obviously, here I am using it in the simplest sense for making some thing possible, facilitating something.
Oh Julie that is so kind and really means a lot to me. The rest of September I was rather taken up with writing my thesis for university and I’ve been pretty busy since then with not much inspiration for writing. I’ve got some ideas now though I’d like to write out ... so maybe soon ☺️
It is a privilege if you can do something to help someone reach their full potential. The reward is seeing them take a step forward. It is their achievement, not that of the person helping them. If we are lucky enough to have been given a helping hand, we know how good that feels and we all deserve one sometimes. I agree that when this gets out of balance it can be destructive for the person being "helped".
So observant and eloquent 👏🏼 The dangers of ‘enabling’ are not talked about enough sadly in my opinion. I used to be a codependent fixer myself before I entered therapy, now I realise how unhealthy those behaviours can be. We obviously all need a little support and help from time to time but also need to be encouraged to flourish and thrive by ourselves, not have our success tied to and dependent on others. x
It is indeed a fine line. I’ve had to reflect on my impulse to “rescue” in the past. It’s a good, noble impulse if done without attachment and in the right context - but you could never call it therapeutic. Perhaps I should have been a fireman.
The more I think about this post, it struck me that ‘enabler’ is often used in a negative sense isn’t it? It’s one of those words like ‘gaslighter’ that’s fashionable.
Obviously, here I am using it in the simplest sense for making some thing possible, facilitating something.
The person I wrote this for, knows who she is ❤️
This is magnificent and thoughtful. I love it. Thank you for sharing ❤️
Thanks, Hannah.
I keep checking your page for more of your musings too as I enjoy them.
Oh Julie that is so kind and really means a lot to me. The rest of September I was rather taken up with writing my thesis for university and I’ve been pretty busy since then with not much inspiration for writing. I’ve got some ideas now though I’d like to write out ... so maybe soon ☺️
It is a privilege if you can do something to help someone reach their full potential. The reward is seeing them take a step forward. It is their achievement, not that of the person helping them. If we are lucky enough to have been given a helping hand, we know how good that feels and we all deserve one sometimes. I agree that when this gets out of balance it can be destructive for the person being "helped".
So observant and eloquent 👏🏼 The dangers of ‘enabling’ are not talked about enough sadly in my opinion. I used to be a codependent fixer myself before I entered therapy, now I realise how unhealthy those behaviours can be. We obviously all need a little support and help from time to time but also need to be encouraged to flourish and thrive by ourselves, not have our success tied to and dependent on others. x
💖💖💖
There is a whopping irony in this.
And I have spotted it.
Cryptic. You’re too clever for me :)
Hm
Doubtful
It is indeed a fine line. I’ve had to reflect on my impulse to “rescue” in the past. It’s a good, noble impulse if done without attachment and in the right context - but you could never call it therapeutic. Perhaps I should have been a fireman.
The people who best help me are facilitators.
Two very good friends spring to mind.
They foster my confidence but do not stifle.
One makes me question.
Both ask questions themselves.
It’s an art but some people have mastered it. I’m grateful to have them in my life.