41 Comments
author

I usually post my poems in clusters but decided this one speaks best in isolation.

Maybe it speaks to you right now.

Expand full comment

Oh it does speak to me right now, on some many fronts x

Expand full comment
author

I always sense you and I have many of the same issues going on, my love xx

Expand full comment

I think we do, I think we also try to just be kind to those around us and, perhaps too often, try to give people the benefit of the doubt ;) I particularly love the very last line... wise words! x

Expand full comment

I love it Julie. So apt for these times. We can only be responsible for our own feelings. “I will take responsibility for me for you, if you take responsibility for you for me”. What a wonderful that would be

Expand full comment
author

Thanks. We can only do so much can’t we? We really can. X

Expand full comment

This Shakespeare quote came to mind when I read your brilliant poem, "How sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is to have a thankless child".

Then I realised I once was that child, even though I was thinking of it from a parent's point of view. Karma perhaps?

Expand full comment
author

Life is a succession of role reversals in many ways isn’t it?

There are many situations it can apply to. You could be trying to help a friend, a loved one or stranger only to get your head bitten off. You could be trying to show society a truth you feel they need to hear, only to have it rejected. Or, equally, you could be the one doing the rejecting; not wanting or able to accept love/help.

Expand full comment

This is brilliant, Julie. Perfectly describes many of the children I’ve worked with over the years.❤️

Expand full comment
author

Bless them. There’s nothing worse than watching someone in pain but you/we/helpers DO make a difference. Doesn’t always get acknowledged but I feel it, I believe. Keep your compassion ……and your sanity. X

Expand full comment

Yes! ✨

Expand full comment

Awesome poem.

Keeping some distance and having compassion.

Makes me think I need to feed certain people with a slingshot

Expand full comment
author

😂😂😂

I hear you.

Expand full comment

You have no idea. Wow. I am in the mud of it. Every family, every person, has its brokenness and pains - but when you do everything in your power to heal your own stuff, get on with it, etc., and others continue to remain unhealthy it pulls you to the bottom of the pool. I refuse to drown in someone else's drama and selfishness. This is where one can mentally move forward in love and prayer and not be around it.

Meaningful, powerful poetry as always friend. Thank you. ox

Expand full comment
author

Thank you Deborah.

I think ‘treat others how you yourself would want to be treated’ goes a long way , it’s one of the sayings I try and live by. Who knows what’s round the corner for any of us after all. But yes, as you say, it’s also very important to protect your own energy too. Another cliche but you can’t pour from an empty cup x

Expand full comment

100%! I agree. Just wrote you a p.m. ❤️ Have a peaceful evening. ox

Expand full comment
author

Oh I will see if I can find it. I think I blocked DM’s so I am not sure where it will have gone 🤷‍♀️😂 (nothing personal just guarding against sleaze, you know. Of course I’m fine with one from you x)

And sometimes people manage to send me emails that don’t show as comments. Not sure how they do it though. Maybe the app?

Expand full comment

I totally get it! I hit your message button and it seemed to go through but no worries 😉😘

Expand full comment
author

I will have a look non my laptop later and let you know if I can’t find it xx

Expand full comment

I absolutely love and appreciate this so much.

Expand full comment
author

Pleased it spoke to you xx

Expand full comment

I grew up with the idiom, “Once bitten, twice shy.” Your essay today, Julie, challenges this reader to be more thoughtful and less reactive.

Expand full comment
author

We live in a culture that wants everything black and white, reduced to its crudest form. On one side, we have the fool or martyr, taking it all, coming back for more, putting up with stuff. On the other, we have the ‘strong’ person who boldly walks away, ‘taking no shit’.

I think there is far more grey going on in every day life, from what I’ve observed. Humans are complex and so are their relationships.

Expand full comment

And once again you nailed it! This is a situation I find myself in at this moment. Not an easy one for me as my temptation is to walk away but that's not really a choice. Thanks for sharing your insightful poem.

Expand full comment
author

I hear you.

It’s a personal choice - or sometimes maybe if an obligation or responsibility is involved, then as you say, it isn’t.

These days it’s fashionable to ‘walk away’ for the sake of self protection. The other extreme of course is to become a martyr.

Is there not a middle ground? Where a person is able to step back from the drama yet remain a source of stability in their crumbling world?

Expand full comment

Yes and you are helping me to afford myself some time to find said middle ground. Having tried the other options I can now see some hard work will be required to have some chance of a more satisfying outcome. I now see I have been selfish so will try to look at things from a different angle. Thank you

Expand full comment
author

It’s a fine balancing act isn’t it? And self care is very important. I just wanted to give my perspective. Love to you xx

Expand full comment

Yes it really is. Thanks and love to you to xx

Expand full comment

Yes Julie it's a reminder how much we love another person, their pain we cannot carry ,we cannot heal a broken heart..or a wound.Great stuff Julie.🕊️🦋x.

Expand full comment
author

Thanks. I think so often these days things are reduced to black and white; you either leave someone to it or become emotionally embroiled. If you care about someone, is there not a third, compassionate way? A way that doesn’t compromise your own boundaries yet still manages to be loving?

Expand full comment

I immediately caught the title as I'm a big nine inch nails fan and that is one of my favourite songs but this is it's own stand out! As you say better in isolation-the Leeds gallery had an impact,loved the photos too!

This is getting restocked,not that many read my wittering on but it needs to he read be many 🥰

Expand full comment
author

Thank you, lovely.

Oh I don’t know the NIN song although ‘Down in it’ is a favourite of mine.

I suppose I was just thinking of the oft used expression. I’m not sure where it comes from (although I’m sure some bugger will). It’s a sentiment most of us have experienced in our lives, either as the one rejecting help or love or the one on the receiving end of that.

Expand full comment

I felt that one. I regrettably have experience on both sides of your poem.

Expand full comment
author

Life makes you resilient sadly but also, necessarily. You cannot go on feeling every single pain the same way you did in youth. You would be like a bruised apple turning to mush on a street. This applies whether you are the person in pain or observing someone else’s.

One way or other, we employ coping mechanisms. And in doing so, sadly a little of our feeling is diminished.

Expand full comment

Love it Julie, so very apt 💙🙏💫

Expand full comment
author

Thanks lovely. Glad it chimes xx

Expand full comment

It certainly did xx

Expand full comment

This is great advice. Thank you.

Expand full comment
author

I write these things as advice to myself as much as anything. Compassion should never be lost but it shouldn’t mean you sacrifice yourself either.

Expand full comment
Comment deleted
Jul 30
Comment deleted
Expand full comment
author

Thank you lovely xx

Expand full comment
Comment deleted
Jul 29
Comment deleted
Expand full comment
author

Thank you. I like that summing up. That’s exactly what I was trying to convey.

Expand full comment