This message is never too deep for any day or time. The part about children being resilient during the lunacy particularly resonates. I taught for more than 40 years and that experience tells me that is a complete fallacy! At the time when I was hearing the effects of the unconscionable cruelty being brushed off so carelessly I was completely enraged. We should never, ever forget that.
Yes it’s easier to chart lost speech or academic achievement (which has come to light). Less so psychological trauma, emotional pain and delayed/damaged socialisation.
We were born innocent and loving til things happened. I, myself as I am sure there are others are sensitive souls. This broke me many times. Not understanding why people treated me so horribly . Surprisingly my greatest pain has been from those who said they loved me. Those same people have verbally abused me, physically abused me, not been dependable, nor lifted me up at all. I have learned to mentally be my own best friend. My core part is still here but I learned to hide it. I got hurt too much by everyone I have ever had a relationship with . My sensitive me is still here. I just don’t let alot see it. In this world you are seen as a target. My writing is the only way I release some of that. Once you only know reaction you close off. In this world I don’t see how you can b otherwise but my experiences have given me trauma that I am just realizing at my age. I am trying to heal that. I lost myself along the way. I agree whole heartedly. We didn’t come into this world defensive, and closed off . I will never go back to that girl crying because people didn’t care. I care for myself . My thoughts of how I feel about myself means more to me now. We go through some hard lessons and it changes us . I understand We each have went through things we shouldn’t have. I have made a promise to myself though I want to b better than they were . This is hard but doable I think.
Different tactics work for different people. No matter how much some of us (like myself) might want to stay a little soft, we can’t help but toughen up to some extent I think, it’s inevitable. Love to you x
This really struck a chord with me. It's something i've been thinking about a lot lately. Is life easier with a cold heart? The answer is no, and you've summed up why perfectly. 'I want to feel'. Exactly. What is life without feeling. It may be easier on the surface to become a cold hearted emotionless drone. But what's the point. It kind of diminishes the experience of life. Love the fence paint analogy. Perfect. And beautifully written.
It’s what I aspire to yet it becomes more difficult to achieve as time passes. It’s as though the Creosote is pouring down from every cloud sometimes, obscuring my true self and as such, gets harder to avoid but I endeavour to keep trying. I find myself scratching it off myself constantly.
I like what you say about the fool archetype, being willing to take risks, but also in my mind not being so ego conscious or not taking oneself so seriously you are willing to risk being vulnerable. But I'm not sure I agree with your take on the meaning of resilience or the saying "what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger." Sometimes these dark experiences can make us more empathetic, more understanding, more wise, and yes stronger in our ability to withstand the hardships thrown at us and to help others who are experiencing similar difficulties. I don't think being resilient necessarily means becoming unfeeling, but feeling stronger, feeling more measured, feeling more confident, feeling better prepared to handle new difficulties. Going barefoot builds such calluses you don't need shoes, you can walk over stony paths you wouldn't be able to manage without. You can carry others with softer feet over those stones. And while the old war horse may not be as strong as the horse who has never been through a war, he has the wisdom and experience to better survive a war than a horse who's never experienced war. I wish none of us, especially children, had to experience dark times, but I hope those who do develop the resilience needed to survive, and, yes, the strength to move forward with wisdom and empathy.
similar things regarding the horse myself, and also the idea that tactics and strategy come into play too.
I suppose my aim in life is to retain or rekindle my ‘Fool’ energy. I’d much rather die walking blindly off a cliff following something or someone I love than watching it/them longingly from a distance and never daring get closer for fear of falling.
Lots of food for thought. I think you're right. Not allowing yourself to feel deeply can be a defence mechanism. From the outside it can give the impression of strength when actually it's the opposite.
Thank you Heather. I am in that zone at the moment, a bit insular but enjoying the exploration.
Yes each has a price. To stay soft/a child/fool means every time the hurt is just as intense but the gains are also more rewarding. All comes down to whether we choose to cultivate a diluted or concentrated experience of life.
“Children are resilient.” A statement only made by people to try to justify their capitulation to a lie, to make them feel better about themselves and their poor judgement.
Can't resilience and feeling sit together? Pain and struggle will be experienced by everyone at some time in their life. It is an inevitable aspect of human existence This fact never makes it licit to inflict suffering on others but we are where we are. Some of the kindest and most feeling people have suffered the most.
I suppose I dislike the idea of hardening up being the only means of self preservation and as such, revered.
Of course many people have suffered - most people have - but many have also strived to keep their child-like heart, to stay open. I think those most closed do themselves and others the most damage.
Agreed - and I suppose the nature of suffering inflicted is a factor. The closer the relationship of the person causing the suffering, the more difficult it is to climb out I would suggest.
I guess we can embrace suffering on reflection to fully realise the joy in something. The simple saying goes "Without the bitter, the sweet 'aint as sweet'.
Having said that, does a prelonged suffering necessarily produce the desired elixer?
The fool should always be embraced for it is devoid of fear, boundaries or consequence. Our very acts of child like spontaneity, as an adult, can be attributed to this very trait. The fool will reject the notion of failure, hence the ability to try without fear of repercussions.
Given the obvious inversion in this world it would be easy to to dismiss the reckless fool as a liability, yet this characteristic alone could be the very reason we are yet to be reduced to a battery.
Yes, although those with your best interests at heart will advise that you reapply that creosote six times every year on the basis that it is "safe and effective".
This message is never too deep for any day or time. The part about children being resilient during the lunacy particularly resonates. I taught for more than 40 years and that experience tells me that is a complete fallacy! At the time when I was hearing the effects of the unconscionable cruelty being brushed off so carelessly I was completely enraged. We should never, ever forget that.
Yes it’s easier to chart lost speech or academic achievement (which has come to light). Less so psychological trauma, emotional pain and delayed/damaged socialisation.
We were born innocent and loving til things happened. I, myself as I am sure there are others are sensitive souls. This broke me many times. Not understanding why people treated me so horribly . Surprisingly my greatest pain has been from those who said they loved me. Those same people have verbally abused me, physically abused me, not been dependable, nor lifted me up at all. I have learned to mentally be my own best friend. My core part is still here but I learned to hide it. I got hurt too much by everyone I have ever had a relationship with . My sensitive me is still here. I just don’t let alot see it. In this world you are seen as a target. My writing is the only way I release some of that. Once you only know reaction you close off. In this world I don’t see how you can b otherwise but my experiences have given me trauma that I am just realizing at my age. I am trying to heal that. I lost myself along the way. I agree whole heartedly. We didn’t come into this world defensive, and closed off . I will never go back to that girl crying because people didn’t care. I care for myself . My thoughts of how I feel about myself means more to me now. We go through some hard lessons and it changes us . I understand We each have went through things we shouldn’t have. I have made a promise to myself though I want to b better than they were . This is hard but doable I think.
I hear you.
Different tactics work for different people. No matter how much some of us (like myself) might want to stay a little soft, we can’t help but toughen up to some extent I think, it’s inevitable. Love to you x
This resonantes with me. And over the years I've taken these cliches on board, but now you've put a different spin on it and making me think.
Thank you ♥️
Julie, In Spanish it is what doesn't kill yo makes you fat... Here ,if I can post it is a poem I wrote on that theme.
From The Spanish
What doesn't kill you
Makes you fat.
I am not dead yet
but as fat as Jaba.
Wearing sorrows like great wreaths
coffin strewn
or are they Christmas wreaths ?
Halos even ?
Circles of light
in Patriarchal Gold.
I am not dead yet
Shinning brightly
I waddle off
into the ending of the story.
Lisa JEnnings 2023
I like that Lisa.
I feel what you are saying.
The interpretation of burden.
Thank you x
Well understood. I am very much alive but we all carry too much that we should put down I / We Become weighed down with it. We could leave it behind.
Indeed xx
Sending love
sending some to you ,too.
This really struck a chord with me. It's something i've been thinking about a lot lately. Is life easier with a cold heart? The answer is no, and you've summed up why perfectly. 'I want to feel'. Exactly. What is life without feeling. It may be easier on the surface to become a cold hearted emotionless drone. But what's the point. It kind of diminishes the experience of life. Love the fence paint analogy. Perfect. And beautifully written.
Oh thank you.:)
It’s what I aspire to yet it becomes more difficult to achieve as time passes. It’s as though the Creosote is pouring down from every cloud sometimes, obscuring my true self and as such, gets harder to avoid but I endeavour to keep trying. I find myself scratching it off myself constantly.
Stay raw and beautiful my friend x
I like what you say about the fool archetype, being willing to take risks, but also in my mind not being so ego conscious or not taking oneself so seriously you are willing to risk being vulnerable. But I'm not sure I agree with your take on the meaning of resilience or the saying "what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger." Sometimes these dark experiences can make us more empathetic, more understanding, more wise, and yes stronger in our ability to withstand the hardships thrown at us and to help others who are experiencing similar difficulties. I don't think being resilient necessarily means becoming unfeeling, but feeling stronger, feeling more measured, feeling more confident, feeling better prepared to handle new difficulties. Going barefoot builds such calluses you don't need shoes, you can walk over stony paths you wouldn't be able to manage without. You can carry others with softer feet over those stones. And while the old war horse may not be as strong as the horse who has never been through a war, he has the wisdom and experience to better survive a war than a horse who's never experienced war. I wish none of us, especially children, had to experience dark times, but I hope those who do develop the resilience needed to survive, and, yes, the strength to move forward with wisdom and empathy.
Yes after I wrote it I started to consider
similar things regarding the horse myself, and also the idea that tactics and strategy come into play too.
I suppose my aim in life is to retain or rekindle my ‘Fool’ energy. I’d much rather die walking blindly off a cliff following something or someone I love than watching it/them longingly from a distance and never daring get closer for fear of falling.
I totally agree with that! My aim is to live fully and gratefully and squeeze as much joy as possible from each day.
You raise some really interesting ideas in this. It has really made me think. I creosoted my fence.
I think we all do to some extent but maybe by acknowledging the process exists, we can aim for a lighter coat😂
Lots of food for thought. I think you're right. Not allowing yourself to feel deeply can be a defence mechanism. From the outside it can give the impression of strength when actually it's the opposite.
It’s a trade off, when we add a protective layer, we reduce our capacity to feel both joy and pain.
I suppose it boils down to whether we put our appreciation of deep joy above our fear of great pain? Which is of primary concern to us?
Absolutely, be foolish. Live with abandon. Every human construct is jelly.
I appreciate this piece, Julie. Not too deep at all, but thought provoking. I also prefer to feel, though sometimes I might disagree with myself! xx
Thank you Heather. I am in that zone at the moment, a bit insular but enjoying the exploration.
Yes each has a price. To stay soft/a child/fool means every time the hurt is just as intense but the gains are also more rewarding. All comes down to whether we choose to cultivate a diluted or concentrated experience of life.
“Children are resilient.” A statement only made by people to try to justify their capitulation to a lie, to make them feel better about themselves and their poor judgement.
Exactly. It’s very sad that it’s become so widely accepted. Particularly by professionals.
Can't resilience and feeling sit together? Pain and struggle will be experienced by everyone at some time in their life. It is an inevitable aspect of human existence This fact never makes it licit to inflict suffering on others but we are where we are. Some of the kindest and most feeling people have suffered the most.
I suppose I dislike the idea of hardening up being the only means of self preservation and as such, revered.
Of course many people have suffered - most people have - but many have also strived to keep their child-like heart, to stay open. I think those most closed do themselves and others the most damage.
Agreed - and I suppose the nature of suffering inflicted is a factor. The closer the relationship of the person causing the suffering, the more difficult it is to climb out I would suggest.
I guess we can embrace suffering on reflection to fully realise the joy in something. The simple saying goes "Without the bitter, the sweet 'aint as sweet'.
Having said that, does a prelonged suffering necessarily produce the desired elixer?
Makes me think about this proverb differently..
Fools think there own way is right, but the wise listen to others
I have never heard that one actually.
The ‘fool’ in the tarot is not necessarily ‘fool’ in the popular sense of the word ie idiot, stupid.
It is the first card but numbered 0, more symbolic of naivety, a bit like a child on the start of a life journey.
The fool should always be embraced for it is devoid of fear, boundaries or consequence. Our very acts of child like spontaneity, as an adult, can be attributed to this very trait. The fool will reject the notion of failure, hence the ability to try without fear of repercussions.
Given the obvious inversion in this world it would be easy to to dismiss the reckless fool as a liability, yet this characteristic alone could be the very reason we are yet to be reduced to a battery.
The fool within the tower holds all the cards.
Absolutely!
I suppose it’s a bit like when people say “from the mouths of babes” ie the idea that sometimes simplicity/youth holds the most wisdom.
To be a fool for love for example to me is an act of courage.
Yes, although those with your best interests at heart will advise that you reapply that creosote six times every year on the basis that it is "safe and effective".
I’ve just read that since 2003, Creosote for amateur use (that sounds so funny😂) has been banned.
Well that sort of shows my age doesn’t it - but hopefully doesn’t scupper my analogy.
If we can’t have Creosote, we’ll say ‘varnish’ sod it…….😂😂😂
Maybe this one is a bit deep for a Thursday lunchtime 😂
They come when they come, hey?🤷♀️