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author

Well I think I’ve scared all the guys off by the use of ‘female’ in this piece!😂

I hope not. Maybe men see it differently, think women get more quiet time than men, maybe men feel they need it more?

Any perspectives on the quest for solitude welcome!

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Love the hermit card and this one’s a beauty! I’m either you on embracing silence! The luxury 🤗✨

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author

Thanks. Yes I wrote that a year ago but it still resonates with me. Love my time alone.

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Me too!

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This story reminds me of how much I need more alone time. Around here, I have to leave my apartment to get any peace and truthfully, there’s really nowhere to go around here. I’m with you with certain noises. My whole being is thrown off by annoyance. It’s not that I don’t fancy people but for me, it’s quite hard to relate to ignorance, so I stay back and take on the role of quiet observer. That deck is so lovely, I’ve never seen it before. Thank you Julie, you brighten up my day, always! 🤗

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author

Thank you :)

Yes I think we become more discerning of people as we age, pickier. I don’t necessarily see that as a bad thing though. Or maybe what we don’t want. The ‘trade offs’ of company.

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founding

Love the Bagpuss reference. I bet Professor Yaffle never had any issue being left to his own devices. In terms of psychological character traits, women are supposedly higher in both Openness and Agreeableness - making it more likely that they’ll both seek the stimulation of ideas/behaviour around others and find it harder to say the requisite “No” of setting hermetic boundaries. Of course, these are generalisations.

I certainly value my solitude and always have, but I the aspects of family life I miss the most are shopping and cooking for others. The “me time” I used to enjoy whilst doing these activities now lacks meaning when I’m only providing for me.

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author

Oh I like Professor Yaffle!

He used to remind me of my grandad.

Yes I had a dinner party phase way back when, pre child (maybe we all did!) and also used to love shopping and cooking for others. When I think of the detail, the lengths I went to, it’s amusing really. Hand made stamps and rafia to tie and wrap gifts, themed cocktail evenings…. Sometimes I feel I’ve lived many lives in one and the current one is just the longest.

That said, I think it’s important to make yourself worthy of occasion. When alone, I still (sometimes) choose myself a beautiful plate and make whatever meal it is look beautiful with garnishes and arrangement. Each act of self care whatever it may be, delivers a message to our own soul, after all.

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founding

Absolutely. I often snap a picture of a nicely presented tea on my beautiful Hinchcliffe & Barber plate to a couple of friends to show them that living well is the best revenge.

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Oh, this is a fantastic piece, Julie! I will be sharing this to all my female friends; my daughter & daughter in law, so that they can acknowledge the sentiments and not feel guilty!; my Mum so that she can reflect on the transitions that have brought her the blessed silence after 31 years of caring for children in her home - she was a very late empty nester!; and our menfolk who need to appreciate the differences that society has cultured, and recognise their lady’s need for the opportunity to not be overwhelmed by the busyness of daily life in a home. Yoga practice has helped me to be able to quieten my mind, but the true silent moments are fleeting. I love mingling and ‘peopling’, but I am, at my very core, an introvert. I totally get this, and only you could have worded it so eloquently and with such humour 🥰

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author

Cheers my love. Yeah I didn’t post this one to FB as I thought it might be a bit long as a post.

I love my music on full blast, love seeing my mates, love my audio books but you can’t beat a bit of 🤐 🤫 😉

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I think that’s the big thing that my allotment has given me. I usually work in silence there, though Monday night in summer is blissful with the sound of cricket practice in the next field, and church bell ringing practice at 8pm. I’m often one of only a handful of people there, so lots of quiet. Nature is so therapeutic. I hope you get to find more of your moments xx

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That sounds blissful and when my son was little, we had one too. Allotments are fabulous and I would gladly have my silence interrupted by a ringing bell, it’s a glorious sound.x

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Fabulous stuff...so funny but so true

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author

Thank you :)

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