Sand Dollar Days
A poem about Spring ‘95 when I fell head over heels for a Texan
I went to a gig recently and found myself reminiscing about when aged 21, I met my Texan boyfriend at a ‘Black Crowes’ concert in Houston. These pics were taken the night we met.
The words of the poem danced to me as flirty dunes of butterscotch. For an hour or so, I buried my heart in this scorching sand, remembering the fun, flame and freedom I felt. Some of the best months of my life…..to date at least, because….. the best is ALWAYS yet to come! Right?
I remember telling my mum we were going to visit Galveston and she started singing the song by Glenn Campbell, which back then, I wasn’t familiar with.
In Galveston, I saw sand dollars for the first time. They are strange things; light and bone-like. I still have the one he gave me in my attic.
I don’t like to say “it didn’t work out” because it cements this idea of relationships as investments. Certainly, it didn’t end well but the idea of something having to last forever for it to have been of value, is one I’ve never bought into.
Why do so many people believe that?
If something ends - but at some point was enjoyable - then it did work out…..for a while.
You can carry your past relationships as heavy suitcases or beautiful balloons, can’t you?
I choose to remember this vivid adventure as an unruly red balloon….that courted, dipped and soared…..before eventually drifting and bursting
Kissed my make up off by this point😂👇🏼
How happy I look on this one! 👇 👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼
SaSand Dollar Days
Sand Dollar Days
Dusk hangs cicada ribbon
In your pick-up by the lake
The gingham-wearing waitresses
Serve up chicken-fried steak
And in this fug of Texan poetry
Your bold geometry cuts through
Cheekbones sharp as razor shells
Slice my world as honeydew
Suddenly I’m in an Elvis movie
Palm trees, motels, roadside bars
You point out armadillos
Rain roaches, June bugs, shooting stars
We cruise the ‘Katy freeway’
Take in the skyline of downtown
You can’t understand my accent
Always telling me ‘slow down’
.
You whisper words in Spanish
We camp out at Galveston
These delicious days will vanish
So I savour every one
Listening to ‘Black Crowes’
High on novelty and weed
We chat shit and fuck and giggle
For it’s all we seem to need
But smoke dined as snaking halos
On our cherry feast of youth
And wheeze breezed in, just like a bitch
To choke our summer breath on truth
.
Some days I study the erosion
In the sand dollar you gave me
Jagged holes made smooth by time,
Washed up souvenir to save me
From these mundane days of middle age
That caterpillar crawl
I close my eyes, forget my cage
Lose myself in southern drawl
I remember you with passion
A coin of chance that begged a beach
Disc of beauty holding all the raw
A claw of love can teach
Life lesson in my library
Your voice lacing the sting
A constant carol of caramel
My memory still sings.
PS: If you enjoyed this post, you may also like this one.
It really was a fabulous time!
Texas was my first time overseas, ever! I was so excited and in awe of everything and anything. Massive Aloe Vera plants in people’s gardens, huge fridges….everything was like “wow!”
I’ve been to five states in the US and Texas was by far the most friendly. In fact it is the most welcoming place I’ve ever been anywhere in the world. The people are absolute gold.
This page won’t display properly on the Substack app for some reason, but luckily I can read it on email. Texas feels like my spiritual home through the novels of Joe R. Lansdale and the songs of Michelle Shocked. I even have family in Austin, but I’ve never been. This poem makes me want to remedy that.