17 Comments
Oct 19, 2023Liked by Julie Dee

Absolutely! I feared this is what might happen. Because of the numbers of pupils involved, secondary schools are all about getting control by training pupils to conform and not stand out. Basically it’s all they do in the first few months. I can only imagine what it must be like for a bright and exuberant chap like your boy. Schools have to be one size fits all institutions. Some are just not cut out for it, two of my grandchildren are cases in point. They would never be able to ‘fit’ a school’s expectations but they’re not strong characters. Sincerely hope he can carve a niche for himself with your support, without compromising his spirit. ❤️

Expand full comment
author

As I say, I am keeping a close eye on things. I have asked them for weekly written summaries (they are keen on phone calls) so it is all documented should things need to change.

Expand full comment
Oct 19, 2023Liked by Julie Dee

Don’t Let Them Put Your Fire Out.

A message for all young children.

As an art teacher, this resonated. An example:

EVERYONE can draw. All little children draw happily until formal education tells them it has to be done in a certain way then the majority stop believing they can. How many people have you heard say ‘I can’t draw for toffee’ ? Everyone can draw, just perhaps not in the way they’ve been conditioned to believe is acceptable. They had their fire put out.

Expand full comment
author
Oct 19, 2023·edited Oct 19, 2023Author

I’m feeling it for my son at the moment. He is struggling trying to adjust and I’m taking lots of phone calls about him needing to ‘meet our expectations’, about being carried to ‘the reflection room’, restraint being used etc.

Whilst him meeting THEIR expectations is desirable, it’s also important they meet HIS NEEDS, as I have pointed out to them.

It’s early days but it’s a situation I’m keeping a close eye on.

.

One of his strengths is that he is a strong character, loud, funny and bright. Of course we all must bend a little, none of us escape the conformity that to some extent, is required of us to function in a society of many others, but it must never be at the expense of our spirit being squashed.

Expand full comment
author
Oct 19, 2023·edited Oct 19, 2023Author

The drawing thing is interesting too. I myself ‘cannot draw for toffee’ yet made lots of money for years charging £40 an hour as a professional facepainter. When people called me ‘an artist’ I used to smile inside knowing that. I believe we all have some sort of art within us ready to be unleashed.

Expand full comment
founding

Thank you for more lovely writings. That’s quite a shamanic gift (or affliction?) you have with feeling others (and putting it into words). I have a similar thing, not with people but with places. The best way of explaining it is that all consciousness is connected, everywhere, all at once.

Expand full comment
author
Oct 19, 2023·edited Oct 19, 2023Author

Yes I’ve had it to a lesser extent with places but certainly believe that emotion and memory is carried in ways maybe we don’t yet comprehend.

.

I don’t always feel it, don’t get it with everyone and it would be interesting to know why that is. If I believed in past lives (don’t really know, keep an open mind) then I’d hazard a guess it was due to a previous connection, unexpectedly pressed upon like a hidden bruise.

Who truly knows?

Expand full comment
Oct 19, 2023Liked by Julie Dee

They do indeed..

Lump in my throat reading that one Julie

I would think anybody with a child in the school system would relate to it

But then again maybe not, not everyone thinks like us

🤞your prince becomes the king of his castle x

Expand full comment
author

It’s finding that balance. We all have to ‘walk the line’ a little, ‘bend’, such is life. I guess our goals as parents should be to ‘equip not strip’.

Expand full comment
Oct 19, 2023Liked by Julie Dee

Don’t let them put your fire out.. ❤️

Expand full comment
author

Thanks. I’ve put that one on Fb. Wondered if it was a bit too ‘heart on my sleeve for there’ for Fb, but sod, it eh? People need to see more heartfelt, don’t they?

Expand full comment

Your poems absolutely blaze. No matter what you are expressing you are not afraid to share your vulnerability, but there is a feeling of real power in them, like a really strong animal fighting off challenges. I particularly liked the one for your son. The way you observe his qualities is lovely, and because the protective instinct is not overstated, it sings out all the more. Really lovely!

Expand full comment
author
Oct 19, 2023·edited Oct 19, 2023Author

Oh thank you. Yes I feel like an animal fighting off challenges!

.

I don’t think I’ve ever been a ‘cotton wool’ or ‘helicopter’ mother. I think exposure to risk and experience is what makes us. Not for the sake of it of course - I disagree with the ‘make them resilient ‘ model of parenting - but as someone who prizes freedom and self expression highly, I fiercely defend the right to it for others.

Expand full comment

Sounds to me like you could run parenting classes! It has to be the most difficult job to do well.

Expand full comment
Oct 19, 2023Liked by Julie Dee

Good idea.

Expand full comment
Oct 18, 2023Liked by Julie Dee

A privilege to read

Expand full comment
author

Thank you, lovely.

Expand full comment