Poems from this week

Five poems about; longing, disappointment, bittersweet, resilience and shining bright.

I feel like I’ve posted a lot recently but as I always say “use it, lose it, or bore people shitless.”😂

Whatever! We’re friends, right?

If you don’t wanna be here, you know what to do, and besides, who knows when there’s a dry spell coming…..

I had that many poems this week I trimmed them as I was alive with them. Sometimes I just need a place to vent.

So yeah, welcome to this week’s online ‘Nobody’s Diary’.😉

Feel free to get the virtual (or real) wine out with me and we can curse our past, gloss fleetingly over our precarious or mundane present and toast our amazing future!

Let’s make a virtual dreamboard together tonight, hey folks.

I’m having secluded white beaches, sprawling rooftop cats, cocktails, cute camper vans, bustling spice markets, and revved up motorbikes on mine……..

How about you?

Until then, have my inner world this week….. *spoiler* it gets better 😉

Ghost

I keep seeing a ghost of you

My face starts turning white

The time I see it most

Is in the small hours of the night

A chill gets right inside my bones

My throat grows pinched and dry

I will the light of day to come

And when it does, I wonder why….

.

What it seems to love, is silence

So I try my best to fill it

And although I dislike violence

I’d be better off to kill it

But, how do you murder what is dead?

How do I make it end?

So, on we go, the ghost and I

My mind is not my friend

The Meeting

Two years ago, I went to meet you

Set off in the dark. 5am or so.

Bouncing high off each happy stride

Saw a deer in my path.

Told myself it was lucky.

Cool morning air stroking my spine

Like a baby brush, gentle and rousing

Sunrise pouring garnets and topaz inside my brain, shaking them, cocktail dizzy.

So high on possibility, destiny…..

.

On the bus

Excitement hooping my sitting form

Rising, frothing, spilling over my own edges

Champagne poured too quickly

Sherbet heart fizzing clouds from my chest as twinkles, cupcake sprinkles…..

Landing as sunny fried egg splatters on the flat faces of strangers

.

On the train

Love swarming my skin, gleeful butter bees, tingling me with their wiggle.

Swelling my lips, anticipating the moving body of you

My teeth rattling, chalk cliffs holding back rolling waves of words and kisses that merge as endless ripples, impressionist painting

Thoughts galloping, beach palominos

To start with you

End with you

Everything……

Foam smashing through secret coves of glances - sea glass melding to smudge new colours.

Our glint smearing horizons with sprawling peace

.

In the taxi

My body holding taut, poised

Tulip tuck tight

Inside….. I’m all pink globe tipped matches

Sizzling as the needles on shiny black records

Whoomph!

Right through me, alive!

.

Arrive.

Giddiness bubbling over,

Magic porridge pot

Sweet and creamy, sailing down the road

Can’t contain that feeling

Of unashamed heat, abundance

Sharing it with the world

Mouthing it as bowls of warmth to all I see

.

Waiting

Singing nervously to myself

Taking my full skirt in my hands

Dancing, smiling……..hoping

.

But, two years ago

You didn’t show

And I left

Alone

He got inside me

He got inside me

As……

Bird song

Moon glow

First snow

Arc of a rainbow

The sheen of foil

Scent of strawberries

.

He got inside me

As…..

Hook

Knife

Germ

Claw

Drill

Ice pick

.

And now, it’s all merged

Sandy lanes lead to abattoirs

Red roses crawl with earwigs

Crisp apples house maggots

Trees are shrunken bonsais

Angels scowl

Choirs scream

.

And all I know for sure

Is that…..

He’s still inside me

Dandelion

I found myself vulnerable

Spent slit on a wind of change

Wanted to bury myself in dense velvet soil

Moist as clumping Christmas pudding

Felt myself surrounded, embedded

Lodged, stuck

But then,

I remembered my powerhouse

Reminded myself of all I was

All I could be

There would be green

And further more, I held it within me

Just waiting to be released

And…..whilst it would be nice to be nurtured

Have someone water, tend to me

Absorb their sunshine

Just once…..

It wasn’t essential

For I was hardy, wild, unstoppable

Golden.

For all my dancing light as air on palms

For all I may never be loved as a burgundy rose

My strength could push through pavements

I was made to split stone and displace tarmac

And I would not just survive

But blaze

Shake my head, a shock of stamina

Bright lemon lollipop

Lighting verges with my beacon

Some may call me a weed

But I know, I am a lion.

Nothing but love

I refuse to live in anger

Have my light dimmed by the dark

Even though I often hunger

For a space to house my spark

I will deflect the negativity

Some days this can prove tough

But, I commit to rise above it

I choose nothing but love

.

I could subscribe to notions

I’m inferior or weak

That I don’t deserve life’s blessings

Or the chance to freely speak

But I’ve only good intentions

And my kindness is enough

To circumvent the haters

I choose nothing but love

.

I hold my fire as torch

To navigate another night

But the more I see things blacken

I’m motivated to burn bright

I refuse to lose the battle

Because, each time push comes to shove

It’s just a chance to test my mettle

I choose nothing but love