Thank you so much for sharing your story, photos and for educating us about trichotilimania. I never knew much about it until now. I’m so glad to hear you are healing and making peace with it. You rock the natural grey Julie and are beautiful inside and out ❤️ x
Thank you for telling your story. It takes a lot of courage to share what we're struggling with and it was a lifetime for you. I'm so sorry you went through so much and am glad you are healing through acceptance and, of course, writing. I pulled my hair out on the top back in my first year of high school. I created a big bald spot and my hair grew straight up. We were on our way to a big family reunion in England and my mom took me to a hair dresser that made me look like Rod Stewart. Fun. That's how I that trip went.
I think when our parents make a big fuss of our hair it becomes a form of control over us and we silently rebel. I was never allowed to cut it and I had to dance with this thick hair to my butt all wound into a tight bun with a thousand pins. I thought my head would come off in class turning across the floor. Every one made a big fuss of this little 8 yr old girl in our neighborhood who had exceptional eyelashes.
Worst thing anyone could have done. She cut them off almost guaging her eyes out.
I left my kids alone.
You're beautiful as you are and a good inspiration while I take the journey :) ox
Yes, it’s definitely a form of control our parents can exert should they choose to.
I always hated it and still hate it when my mum talks about my appearance. I really try not to do it with my son. Most I say is to tell him to comb his hair and even that I try not to do too often.
Wow, you’ve been through it. It’s a funny thing, but I’ve found that as you look around at people going about their daily lives, most will be dealing or will have dealt with some serious shit in their lives. Have a great day.
This is so true. I keep thinking how it would be good to write a story around that concept- the idea that everyone says to themselves “you’ve no idea” but it applies to everyone. We are all dealing with our demons, some more than others. That’s why a little empathy and compassion goes a long way.
Lovely pics of you throughout the years. It often takes a lifetime for us to grow into ourselves enough to ultimately become comfortable in our own skin. Anxieties we have as children and onward manifest in many behaviors including the one you described. Somehow time sorts out issues for us in the absence of emotional support. It is tough (an understatement!) but somehow by the grace of God we manage. Brava to you!
🙏 Julie for sharing this again(in the broader sense).
I am one of those from twitter that saw your original mentions to it.
I'm comfortable to share it here that my eldest daughter (12) suffers with(can I say suffers with? sorry I'm tired) Trichotilimania for about almost 2yrs now. No sign of abating....just progressively worse.
Top of her head like you describe no better than saying it's like a Friar...
the back not intact mostly for now but shaved short intentionally with the hope she won't as readily pull at it. The sides also shaved short but there's jagged inroads made into it from the top.
She's allowed to wear a baseball cap at school(that wasn't a battle to get that permission) but that draws attention to her and the name calling insues - everyweek there's an incident of pupils outside of her year group pulling her hat off, teasing, bullying....the name calling again.
Then in public She's mistaken for a boy...even in restaurants we used to go as a family the waiter who seemed to know us now says "What you having lad?"
I see it coming in various situations and stand behind her trying my best to grab the waiter or whoever depending on where we are attention to not mention the hat or somehow indicate that She's a girl....it's so difficult and so upsetting.
I feel I've lost a huge part of her...a once confident, brave, full of energy girl who would always be laughing and be outside...now a recluse, shamed by others. Her therapy is to go on her trampoline in the garden...I struggle so much to get her to go out beyond home.
I blame myself in part for my part in the breakdown of the marriage to her mum...
I can't believe it hasn't been a contributing factor...
Of course I love her and what she looks like doesn't change that...I'm not embarrassed or ashamed of her...
I'm just so saddened by what has become of her from the inside and what she's battling inside of her 😥🙏
I remember how hard it was being mocked all those years ago. Those first few years of it were the worst. I felt so exposed and clueless of how to cope. Because it was new to my family too, they also really struggled with it. As I now know as a mum, kids have a way of chucking you that curve ball.
It’s hard to know if visiting a psychologist or therapist would have helped. I have no idea, it’s the road I didn’t travel but I suppose it nice to have options available should you want to explore them. As with everything, patience, kindness and understanding goes a long way.
It’s an unconscious thing and I still sometimes do it now and the more stressed I am, the more I do it. I think that should be the aim for her rather than being able to stop completely which may seem too much.
Don’t blame yourself and the marriage. Staying in an unhappy marriage could have led to the same consequences couldn’t it? Sadly, stress is part of life and we all get our share, regardless of whether we try and avoid it, hey?
You just sent me back to my childhood. I don’t remember much about it but I know my mum was worried about me as I used to suck my first two forefingers on my left hand and twiddle my hair with the right hand, sometimes pulling it out. I was very young and luckily had not suffered any traumas like you; I think just a sensitive child in a big noisy family who grew out of the habit. I discovered as I grew older that I rather liked my own company, loved reading and found quiet little places to hide away. I’m happy you’re finally through the worst of it now but it seems to have given you an wonderful talent to express yourself in writing poetry…
Thats interesting because my first boyfriend whom I mentioned in this post had the same issue you mention (finger sucking). That’s why it felt easier to tell him. Once someone reveals a vulnerability to us that they have, it somehow seems a little easier to reveal things about ourselves.
Wow! Love the photos. Other adventures! I’ve never heard of this before. I’ve just been to a trichologist because my hair is shedding alarmingly, I’ve lost about a third. Luckily I had very thick hair to begin with but it’s rubbish right now. Stress of everything we’re facing , finished off by becoming H’s carer and watching him die; no other reason she thought. Apparently some very expensive multi minerals will see me right. 🤦♀️ Oh by the way. Was Happy Valley shot in your neck of the woods?
Yes - strangely I agree and I love the colours I now look good in that I never did before. I’d always stick to red or black primarily but now I suit jewel colours like royal blue or emerald green.
Just shows you that the things you fear can end up doing you favours.
Thank you so much for sharing your story, photos and for educating us about trichotilimania. I never knew much about it until now. I’m so glad to hear you are healing and making peace with it. You rock the natural grey Julie and are beautiful inside and out ❤️ x
Bless you Nat. Yes it’s taken a long time to get to this stage but it’s a great place to be, finally. X
❤️❤️❤️
I shaved my eyebrows off once lol 😁🙏
I cut my eye lashes into zig zags😂😂
You badass lol
Dear Julie,
Thank you for telling your story. It takes a lot of courage to share what we're struggling with and it was a lifetime for you. I'm so sorry you went through so much and am glad you are healing through acceptance and, of course, writing. I pulled my hair out on the top back in my first year of high school. I created a big bald spot and my hair grew straight up. We were on our way to a big family reunion in England and my mom took me to a hair dresser that made me look like Rod Stewart. Fun. That's how I that trip went.
I think when our parents make a big fuss of our hair it becomes a form of control over us and we silently rebel. I was never allowed to cut it and I had to dance with this thick hair to my butt all wound into a tight bun with a thousand pins. I thought my head would come off in class turning across the floor. Every one made a big fuss of this little 8 yr old girl in our neighborhood who had exceptional eyelashes.
Worst thing anyone could have done. She cut them off almost guaging her eyes out.
I left my kids alone.
You're beautiful as you are and a good inspiration while I take the journey :) ox
Bless you and sorry that happened to you too.
Yes, it’s definitely a form of control our parents can exert should they choose to.
I always hated it and still hate it when my mum talks about my appearance. I really try not to do it with my son. Most I say is to tell him to comb his hair and even that I try not to do too often.
I would never have known :) x
Wow, you’ve been through it. It’s a funny thing, but I’ve found that as you look around at people going about their daily lives, most will be dealing or will have dealt with some serious shit in their lives. Have a great day.
This is so true. I keep thinking how it would be good to write a story around that concept- the idea that everyone says to themselves “you’ve no idea” but it applies to everyone. We are all dealing with our demons, some more than others. That’s why a little empathy and compassion goes a long way.
Lovely pics of you throughout the years. It often takes a lifetime for us to grow into ourselves enough to ultimately become comfortable in our own skin. Anxieties we have as children and onward manifest in many behaviors including the one you described. Somehow time sorts out issues for us in the absence of emotional support. It is tough (an understatement!) but somehow by the grace of God we manage. Brava to you!
Thank you. X
We’re all each of us dealing with something aren’t we? That’s the way I see it anyway.
🙏 Julie for sharing this again(in the broader sense).
I am one of those from twitter that saw your original mentions to it.
I'm comfortable to share it here that my eldest daughter (12) suffers with(can I say suffers with? sorry I'm tired) Trichotilimania for about almost 2yrs now. No sign of abating....just progressively worse.
Top of her head like you describe no better than saying it's like a Friar...
the back not intact mostly for now but shaved short intentionally with the hope she won't as readily pull at it. The sides also shaved short but there's jagged inroads made into it from the top.
She's allowed to wear a baseball cap at school(that wasn't a battle to get that permission) but that draws attention to her and the name calling insues - everyweek there's an incident of pupils outside of her year group pulling her hat off, teasing, bullying....the name calling again.
Then in public She's mistaken for a boy...even in restaurants we used to go as a family the waiter who seemed to know us now says "What you having lad?"
I see it coming in various situations and stand behind her trying my best to grab the waiter or whoever depending on where we are attention to not mention the hat or somehow indicate that She's a girl....it's so difficult and so upsetting.
I feel I've lost a huge part of her...a once confident, brave, full of energy girl who would always be laughing and be outside...now a recluse, shamed by others. Her therapy is to go on her trampoline in the garden...I struggle so much to get her to go out beyond home.
I blame myself in part for my part in the breakdown of the marriage to her mum...
I can't believe it hasn't been a contributing factor...
Of course I love her and what she looks like doesn't change that...I'm not embarrassed or ashamed of her...
I'm just so saddened by what has become of her from the inside and what she's battling inside of her 😥🙏
Thankyou Julie once again my friend 🙏❤
I remember how hard it was being mocked all those years ago. Those first few years of it were the worst. I felt so exposed and clueless of how to cope. Because it was new to my family too, they also really struggled with it. As I now know as a mum, kids have a way of chucking you that curve ball.
It’s hard to know if visiting a psychologist or therapist would have helped. I have no idea, it’s the road I didn’t travel but I suppose it nice to have options available should you want to explore them. As with everything, patience, kindness and understanding goes a long way.
It’s an unconscious thing and I still sometimes do it now and the more stressed I am, the more I do it. I think that should be the aim for her rather than being able to stop completely which may seem too much.
Don’t blame yourself and the marriage. Staying in an unhappy marriage could have led to the same consequences couldn’t it? Sadly, stress is part of life and we all get our share, regardless of whether we try and avoid it, hey?
You just sent me back to my childhood. I don’t remember much about it but I know my mum was worried about me as I used to suck my first two forefingers on my left hand and twiddle my hair with the right hand, sometimes pulling it out. I was very young and luckily had not suffered any traumas like you; I think just a sensitive child in a big noisy family who grew out of the habit. I discovered as I grew older that I rather liked my own company, loved reading and found quiet little places to hide away. I’m happy you’re finally through the worst of it now but it seems to have given you an wonderful talent to express yourself in writing poetry…
Thats interesting because my first boyfriend whom I mentioned in this post had the same issue you mention (finger sucking). That’s why it felt easier to tell him. Once someone reveals a vulnerability to us that they have, it somehow seems a little easier to reveal things about ourselves.
Wow! Love the photos. Other adventures! I’ve never heard of this before. I’ve just been to a trichologist because my hair is shedding alarmingly, I’ve lost about a third. Luckily I had very thick hair to begin with but it’s rubbish right now. Stress of everything we’re facing , finished off by becoming H’s carer and watching him die; no other reason she thought. Apparently some very expensive multi minerals will see me right. 🤦♀️ Oh by the way. Was Happy Valley shot in your neck of the woods?
Its more common than you’d think, more so in women.
Yes I can imagine you have a lot of healing to do, lovely xx
Happy Valley - yes I took some photos of Sarah the day she was filming. I’ve never actually seen it but it impressed my mum 🤣😂
I’ve never watched it until the final three episodes. She was driving along and said she was going the Hebden to a nice cake shop 😂
I know the one😉😂😍
I'm glad you're at peace with it now and having fun with the wigs ♥️ xx
Can’t wait for it to arrive. It’s long and black with curls!!!!🥰😍
Oooh sounds lovely. 🤩♥️
I was always so scared of my grey, like it made me look too old but it’s radiant silver. I feel like a magical angel. 👼🏻
Hope yours pleasantly surprises you x
Yes - strangely I agree and I love the colours I now look good in that I never did before. I’d always stick to red or black primarily but now I suit jewel colours like royal blue or emerald green.
Just shows you that the things you fear can end up doing you favours.