Love It Local

A little non-adventure in a cafe in Wool, (notes from my recent travels)

‘Wool’.

Yesterday, I did not even know such a place existed. I like the idea there is a town named after yarn that’s incidentally, full of sheep.

As my bus navigates the gentle mounds of sleepy green, I decide that before I take the next bus to Lulworth Cove, I will grab myself something to eat.

By happy accident, immediately in front of the bus stop I spy an odd little cafe by a campsite. There are large fabric sofas outside and it has a kitschy porch appeal. I love quirkiness and I instantly feel like I’m stepping into someone’s Nanna’s back garden. Give me this over ‘slick’ any day of the week. I seem to be the only one here, but it is early doors.

I scan the menu which is stuck to the front of the window, but as happens often these days, I am overwhelmed by options.

The woman behind the counter comes bounding over with the vigour of a golden retriever. She is possibly in her sixties with lank blonde hair tied up in a swingy ponytail and wears pastel pink joggers. I think I must be her first customer of the day. Either that or she’s been taking full advantage of free coffees.

“Veggie breakfast, please”

I request.

“Stegosaurus or herbivore delight?”

She replies in endearing West Country twang.

What?

“Sorry….?”

“Stegosaurus or herbivore delight?”

It suddenly dawns on me that I am on the ‘Jurassic Coast’ and as such, dishes have been named after dinosaurs. Bloody hell. I don’t know…..

“Oh….give me a minute….”

“Look……I’ll make it easy, do you eat eggs?”

She offers.

“Yes”

At this point, I become acutely aware of my Lancashire accent. How it must stick out like a sore thumb in these backwater parts. Whenever I hear a southern accent, I can’t help but hear my mother say;

“Southerners don’t like northerners”

Just as I remember her telling me Scottish people (‘The Scotch’) don’t like us either. Or Yorkshire folk come to that; “war of the roses you see”. As a kid, I used to wonder which regions of the country did actually like people from Lancashire. Other Lancastrians, maybe? The hang ups people give you, eh?

“Brown or white toast?”

“Er…..I don’t mind…..whatever you’ve got more of!”

I say, realising my self consciousness is rapidly transporting me to ‘people pleaser’ mode.

10 minutes later, she arrives with a cooked breakfast and a mug of coffee with a spoon still in it. It tickles me that the toast (she has done me half a slice of both white and brown, bless her) is on a plate with the words ‘bit on the side’ on it.

“I’m sorry, we don’t have any hummus”

She says

Good, I think. Who the hell has hummus with breakfast? Greeks maybe? It’s just plain weird.

“You on your holiday?”

She enquires.

“Yes. Just a few days”

She eyes me curiously. I’m guessing she’s used to families or even truckers stopping by.

“You’re on your own?”

“Yes”

I am then flooded by an impromptu attack of parental guilt and feel the need to explain to this complete stranger that actually, I have a son and will be taking him on holiday - a longer holiday - later in the year. Do fathers feel this too if they take a mini break without their kids? Probably not, I’m guessing.

She nods in acknowledgment, pops back inside and returns, giddily waving something bright in her hand.

“You’re gonna like this!”

She declares enthusiastically as she proudly plonks down a promotional brochure beside my meal. ‘Love it local’.

I have a flick through, it’s mainly ads to be honest but I’m touched by her well meaning gesture.

As I soak up the sunshine, happily tucking into my ‘Stegosaurus’ (or is it a Herbivore?) I grin. I really can’t understand why anyone would choose to to patronise generic chain establishments. For me, travelling is all about unearthing local character.

“You can keep the magazine! You can have it!”

She’s saying as I get up to leave. She picks it up, rolls it and firmly pushes it into my hand, a true ambassador for her county.

It was by no means the best breakfast in the world.

By no means the worst.

But I have to admit, I really do love it local.