That’s lovely Julie. Good advice. It’s quite astonishing sometimes how others expect people close to them to ‘toughen up’. I think perhaps because it means they won’t be required to do anything to help if that person appears to be veneered with self sufficiency.
I think i mentioned, only one school have said they can meet his needs and i don’t believe they can, I think they are using him as a cash cow (the school costs £89k a year) as people have dropped out due to bad Ofsted.
I have told them this.
I have put in an appeal but apparently they can take 12 months and even when it goes to tribunal I don’t think I will get the right result. I think I will have a better idea after he completes some transition days.
If he finds it too stressful in Sept, they will just have to try and fine me. Any insistence by me will turn his anxiety into aggression.
In mental health services, it has become quite popular to talk of “resilience”. That’s all well and good when it’s a celebration of someone’s courage, tenacity and adaptive abilities - but a fear it is also code for “good luck coping with the woeful lack of resources”.
Yes. What she said. This was something that my man Wilhelm Reich talked of a lot, keeping a soft heart (he is the “Daddy” referred to in the Kate Bush song, Cloudbusting). Ironically, Reich often came across as quite bitter and angry when he said it - but then he led a very persecuted life. He was angry at the way society forces us to develop emotional armour to have to deal with its tyrannical bullshit and sexual repression. Sometimes you do need a tough exterior, but never harden your heart.
Trauma and life in general affects everyone differently doesn’t it? And some people can’t help but develop mechanisms that appear bizarre or overly harsh. It’s their best chance of survival.
But those of us who can retain a soft core, should do, in my opinion. The world and reality is aligned with our perception of it and willingness to look through sympathetic lenses.
Ah Julie bless his little heart. Bless yours. It really is a post code lottery when provision is concerned and that’s a pretty disgusting state of affairs. I often think about him and how he is doing. I hope he gets some careful, personalised treatment soon so he’s able to reach his potential 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻
Me too. At the moment despite his issues, he still loves school and it breaks my heart that this ray of hope may be crushed at the next place I’d It’s not right/handled well.
The older I get, the less I want materially, I have zero ambition so it’s hard to get excited about some of the things other people do like the house and garden like I used to.
I honestly couldn’t care if it all burns down. It hasn’t felt like my home for a very long time.
So it’s just trying to find things that light me really.
Sorry you’ve been low too. Hopefully you’ll be feeling sparkier soon
I’ve been sad this last few weeks. Fall outs always make me sad but I am trying to find my place again.
Find focus and worth. Find joy in stuff.
I refuse to let any setbacks sour or tarnish my spirit. Sometimes I find it hard to get back on the horse. But my horse is always there, strong, waiting and able.
That’s lovely Julie. Good advice. It’s quite astonishing sometimes how others expect people close to them to ‘toughen up’. I think perhaps because it means they won’t be required to do anything to help if that person appears to be veneered with self sufficiency.
How is your educational quest going for the boy?
It’s worrying me a lot tbh.
I think i mentioned, only one school have said they can meet his needs and i don’t believe they can, I think they are using him as a cash cow (the school costs £89k a year) as people have dropped out due to bad Ofsted.
I have told them this.
I have put in an appeal but apparently they can take 12 months and even when it goes to tribunal I don’t think I will get the right result. I think I will have a better idea after he completes some transition days.
If he finds it too stressful in Sept, they will just have to try and fine me. Any insistence by me will turn his anxiety into aggression.
In mental health services, it has become quite popular to talk of “resilience”. That’s all well and good when it’s a celebration of someone’s courage, tenacity and adaptive abilities - but a fear it is also code for “good luck coping with the woeful lack of resources”.
Absolutely. It shouldn’t be about whether someone ‘can’ cope but if in a humane society, they should have to.
Yes. What she said. This was something that my man Wilhelm Reich talked of a lot, keeping a soft heart (he is the “Daddy” referred to in the Kate Bush song, Cloudbusting). Ironically, Reich often came across as quite bitter and angry when he said it - but then he led a very persecuted life. He was angry at the way society forces us to develop emotional armour to have to deal with its tyrannical bullshit and sexual repression. Sometimes you do need a tough exterior, but never harden your heart.
Trauma and life in general affects everyone differently doesn’t it? And some people can’t help but develop mechanisms that appear bizarre or overly harsh. It’s their best chance of survival.
But those of us who can retain a soft core, should do, in my opinion. The world and reality is aligned with our perception of it and willingness to look through sympathetic lenses.
“Wear it on your sleeve, tender as sweetcorn,” what a lovely metaphor!
Thank you 😊
Ah Julie bless his little heart. Bless yours. It really is a post code lottery when provision is concerned and that’s a pretty disgusting state of affairs. I often think about him and how he is doing. I hope he gets some careful, personalised treatment soon so he’s able to reach his potential 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻
Me too. At the moment despite his issues, he still loves school and it breaks my heart that this ray of hope may be crushed at the next place I’d It’s not right/handled well.
What a lovely positive way to start the day! Thank you!
Enjoy your day :)
You too, Julie x
Thank you, lovely. Xx
The older I get, the less I want materially, I have zero ambition so it’s hard to get excited about some of the things other people do like the house and garden like I used to.
I honestly couldn’t care if it all burns down. It hasn’t felt like my home for a very long time.
So it’s just trying to find things that light me really.
Sorry you’ve been low too. Hopefully you’ll be feeling sparkier soon
My friends keep me going. Distract and inspire me.
Yes, you too x
I’ve been sad this last few weeks. Fall outs always make me sad but I am trying to find my place again.
Find focus and worth. Find joy in stuff.
I refuse to let any setbacks sour or tarnish my spirit. Sometimes I find it hard to get back on the horse. But my horse is always there, strong, waiting and able.