26 Comments

Dear Julie,

This is such a wonderfully thoughtful and peacefully gentle post. You summed it up perfectly. There are, indeed, some things that you just *can’t* make right.

We have a similar situation in our neighborhood. Retired couple. Him not yet 75 and gone so quickly. We don’t know her well, but we sent a card and met her on our walk a few days later and exchanged hugs. What else can we do? I keep asking myself. Especially at this time of year. We don’t even see her out and about often. We will see what the near future brings.

Thank you again for this post. Sending you heartfelt wishes for a happy and peaceful Christmas 🎄✨

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It’s a strange old season isn’t it? Brings so much to the surface - the expectation of merriment combined with the harsh exposure of winter.

Being a good neighbour is what we all must do, whatever we envisage that to mean.

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Yes...perhaps that’s the corollary: Even though there are some things you can’t make right, being a good neighbor, as best you can in the circumstances, is enough.

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Beautifully written Julie x I love the way you write!

I had a card like this, this year :( and I also remember feeling this when my aunt’s card came through after my uncle (who she married, divorced then married again) had passed. The next year there was no card as, she too, had gone. She missed him so.

I think a reason it also is moving to me too because, other than my children who will one day (soon) fledge I have never had a name next to mine for longer than six or seven years and now feel very unlikely to. So in that way their aloneness seems even harsher because they had that ‘other half’ and for so long and now do not. I don’t have your way with words so I hope you understand what I mean there. Xx

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Never say never, hey? If that’s what you want at least, anyway.

No name next to yours on the card, is better than the wrong one, hey?Xx

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Absolutely ;) x

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So poignant once again. I sat yesterday and wrote some cards signing it with my name, the shortened form that everyone knows me as. I suddenly thought, will people know who it’s from now it’s just Jan, not Jan and Tony? Should I put my surname on it or will they recognise my handwriting? Another little bump in the road leading away from ‘sudden bereavement’ this time last year. I wondered what people will write in the cards I receive. I guess it is awkward. ‘Peaceful’ would be wonderful.

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Bless you.

I wonder if any of them will overthink it as much as I do.

People don’t know do they? To some extent I suppose they follow your cue.

You know I remember the first ‘Convid’ Christmas. All those dreadful, hollow ‘stay safe’s creeping their way into Christmas cards. Thankfully at least that is dropping off a bit now.

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Oh yes that was truly appalling! They went straight in the bin. I have received one so far which said ‘hope you’re settling into your new home’ which was fine but it was accompanied by her annual Boast in the Post letter. 🤮 Does anyone else get those?

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‘Boast in the Post’ - 😂 never heard that phrase before! I used to get them but they now tend to have been replaced by impersonal round robin emails or tag every bugger on em Facebook posts which are insanely annoying.

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Julie I think you have captured exactly how I feel at this time of year!

Almost exactly 24 years ago I lost my father. Up until then Christmas had been a magical time of year for me. As a family we did so much together. The next few years are a bit of a blur. Then when the numbness started subsidising a new unspoken rule was the new tradition a Christmas. Every year we invite any folk on our street who happen to be alone to join us for Christmas dinner.

It feels like this is the message that we all need to hear at this time of year - less focus on materialism and more time for kindness and compassion. Thanks for sharing x

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I lost my grandma on Christmas Eve a few years back. Never been the same since.

Lots of love to you x

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Sorry to hear that. Sending love back x

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A timely reminder of how difficult this time of year is for so many people. I have always kept it very low key and ignored the hype. I'm not a killjoy but it's a religious festival after all. So much of it is artificial and stressful. I hope Val has family that can support her. She has at least one kind neighbour.

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Yes it’s harder to ignore the hype with a child but I too, do my best.

I find it sad that so many people aren’t sending cards anymore. Got a Fb message from my elderly Aunt yesterday “I’m not sending cards this year, it’s too expensive”. I completely get it, I really do. But at the same time it feels like as a society we’re losing something.

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Yes it's a time for children and it's magical for them but again, poorer children and their parents suffer, people get into debt etc. The one thing I do enjoy is getting a card from someone that you only keep touch with once a year, but with the cost of stamps that will fall away now. Thank you Royal Mail. Another great achievement for capitalism. How Christmassy!

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Yes I have a Welsh friend I met in Cyprus back in 1996 i still do this with. Or did til last year. Got nothing back, makes me wonder if it’s that or something more concerning.

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I've had the same experience. Got a bit worried as it is an elderly friend in my case. Just hoping it is just the cost of stamps that is making people tighten their belts.

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founding

This is a marvellous piece of writing. Midway between heartbreaking and heartwarming. Or maybe just so vividly full of humanity that it contains both sentiments without really being one or the other. I remember that awkward fawn, wobbly pen feeling myself after the other D word (divorce). We will all face times of harsh exposure but we always have our name (and, if we are lucky, good neighbours).

I’m struck by Micheal’s phrase “wonderfully thoughtful” - such an exact description of the effort and import you put into all of your words.

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Thank you Christian.

Christmas looming has me contemplative. This was another one that had me crying as I wrote it.

Christmas cards themselves feel like a an emblem of winter, in that they represent a dying art. Seeing names and messages in handwriting feels like so much more of a personal connection than a cold type face. How much longer will they exist? Stuff like this bothers me.

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Very poignant.

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I overthink everything. Even a Christmas card through the door but it just seemed so sad. 💔

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You just see the whole picture and not just the surface. It’s something actually quite rare and to be thankful for. Most of us just glance out of the window without appreciation of the deeper picture.

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Thoughtful

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At least this year there was nothing about shielding and how many times they’d had covid. 😂

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Yes

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