Most of my stories, you have probably gathered, are from the same ten year span, age around 13 to 23 ish. Maybe you recognise a character like Barbara yourself from your own youth. Often you don’t see the pathos of the situation til you are a similar age yourself, looking back.
“Most of my stories, you have probably gathered, are from the same ten year span, age around 13 to 23 ish. Maybe you recognise a character like Barbara yourself from your own youth. Often you don’t see the pathos of the situation til you are a similar age yourself, looking back.”
Great story telling Julie, and you have your own way of writing them unique to yourself. I wasn’t sure if this were fiction?
I began reading this yesterday then life kicked in, and I finished it this morning. I look at Barbara from my perspective of having had a lot of attention from fans who loved my work on stage. There was a lady named BJ — short for Betty Jo, who was a big fan and followed us everywhere—each time bringing gifts, etc. I felt obligated to do something nice for her, so I occasionally invited her to get-togethers, where she began acting like my servant. This made her feel wanted and happy, so I let her help. But I thought I was exploiting her, and one time, I asked her to relax; we could all fetch our refreshments and drinks, and besides, I had help. In that situation, she was very uncomfortable just being a guest. It’s like she could only have a good time if she were working. I think acceptance was what she loved, and that was her way of receiving it. So I can understand Barbara, but sadly, the family didn’t have more love for her.
I often see that among the famous and their relationship with non-famous people around them. Not everyone, of course, but restaurant staff and shop workers will bend backward for you when you are known to the public. I’ve seen celebrities take advantage of these situations, wanting dinners, hotel rooms, etc. comped. Some do so to the point that when, say, a restaurant doesn’t give them a freebie, their attitude changes to one of expectancy and ungratefulness.
I loved including her, yet it was challenging to navigate that dynamic. It’s heartbreaking to recognize how some people equate being needed with being valued. But, on the other hand if what they do gave Barbara happiness, then I guess that family brightened her life. Too bad they couldn’t feel joy from their relationship with her, it seems like Barbara had a heart of gold.
Thank you Julie, it gives me a lot to think and reflect on this morning.
Wow - you see you have own little real life story right there about Betty Jo! I bet that would be interesting to read too. Yes these people are everywhere and there’s a balance to be struck between be inclusive and supportive and not exploiting.
And thank you what you said about the story telling too. They are very vivid memories for me. :)
I just added a comment cause I thought “oh….no-one has said anything….what does that mean?” 😬And then the doubt kicks in a little. So thank you so much for yours. :)I’m glad you enjoyed it.
Wow! This was excellent! I agree on buffets and the poor treatment of Barbara. That point about elevating bad habits of people we love was an interesting thought! Loved reading this!
You're such a great writer Julie. I visually imagine everything, every detail, as I read. My granddad was a horse better. Every single day until he passed. He would say, "when I win the pools I'll send for you." Makes me soppy eyed. I thought about the men in the family, all at the local pubs. Uncle Ernie and Uncle Squibbs. My uncle, who just passed, always having a drink at the local pub. And Barbara. How very sad. My heart sank, like yours, to know she worked for friendship, isolated, alienated due to her drinking perhaps? and died alone so tragically. Thank you for the story. It's good to write about these things. Makes us think. Sending you much love and a big hug. Glad you're back. oxox
Thanks for your supportive comments, they mean a lot. Yes my grandad liked a flutter on the horses too, in many ways I think it was a generational thing although of course me being an animal lover (like yourself), it’s really not my bag. Attitudes have changed about that a little I think.
The pools. Yes another blast from the past! My mum used to do those :)
You took me right back in to those lounges in pubs, the smells, sticky red carpet, mission brown chairs and resident bar flies. I grew up in an inner city suburb of Melbourne in the 70s, through to the early 80s and then moved across town to another inner city suburb. They are now all gentrified. Had older friends who played in bands, so met many colourful characters, including Barbaras. Many of the people l was mixing with were 15-20 years older than me … l resonated with what l saw as an open acceptance, though l see it differently now, as you do, ofcourse. I am grateful that the old bar flies, on the whole, were safe for us to be around. Great story Julie, thank you 🙏😊
is happening here with the pubs, many are being taken over by chains or often have booming sports on screens, and as a result they have lost their character. I miss the old style places. There was a leisurely vibe to them that’s very much lacking today.
Great stuff. Some real pathos there with poor Barbara. I like the way that you create an atmosphere that is both welcoming and repellent at the same time. The way the characters are capable of charm and acceptance but are also quite mercenary. It reminded me of when I used to watch Shameless on Channel 4 (with Frank Gallagher in the central role of alkie). There was an attractive warmth and sense of community to it, but amongst the chaos and deprivation, you were glad not to live there yourself.
When I first used to hang around the estate, it was attractive to me, I felt grown up and free there. Certainly I became more streetwise as a result of the encounters I had, but with adult eyes I see it in a different light.
Love the ones no one loves; cherish their memory. Some starlit Day on the other side of Forever, a Beautiful Stranger will approach through the mists, to tell the story of You and how You changed their life...
I loved that! You transported me back to the 80s, I felt like I was there with you! Poor Barbara, I hope she's up there now having a good time with the ready salted crisps and Mothers Pride sandwiches. 😘
Just finished reading g this. Caught my attention at 'working mens club, Brylcreme and horses'. My late dad was a customer of all 3! He would have hated these depressing tines we live in now. His estate got rid of the club it's now a bloody Herons! 😳
I remember asking my mum about it. “Why do loads of old fellas have greasy slicked back hair?” And she told me, it’s what they did when they were young and they never changed it.” Same with the women who have the sets.
It's so painful to look back now at old Great Britain times and realise how we were all socially engineered without us even figuring it out. The days of the council estates and comprehensive shit education system. And so on....
Yes I don’t think council estates even exist now, all ‘social housing’. And back in my grandma’s day it was ‘the corporation’. That’s what she used to call the council.
Most of my stories, you have probably gathered, are from the same ten year span, age around 13 to 23 ish. Maybe you recognise a character like Barbara yourself from your own youth. Often you don’t see the pathos of the situation til you are a similar age yourself, looking back.
“Most of my stories, you have probably gathered, are from the same ten year span, age around 13 to 23 ish. Maybe you recognise a character like Barbara yourself from your own youth. Often you don’t see the pathos of the situation til you are a similar age yourself, looking back.”
Great story telling Julie, and you have your own way of writing them unique to yourself. I wasn’t sure if this were fiction?
I began reading this yesterday then life kicked in, and I finished it this morning. I look at Barbara from my perspective of having had a lot of attention from fans who loved my work on stage. There was a lady named BJ — short for Betty Jo, who was a big fan and followed us everywhere—each time bringing gifts, etc. I felt obligated to do something nice for her, so I occasionally invited her to get-togethers, where she began acting like my servant. This made her feel wanted and happy, so I let her help. But I thought I was exploiting her, and one time, I asked her to relax; we could all fetch our refreshments and drinks, and besides, I had help. In that situation, she was very uncomfortable just being a guest. It’s like she could only have a good time if she were working. I think acceptance was what she loved, and that was her way of receiving it. So I can understand Barbara, but sadly, the family didn’t have more love for her.
I often see that among the famous and their relationship with non-famous people around them. Not everyone, of course, but restaurant staff and shop workers will bend backward for you when you are known to the public. I’ve seen celebrities take advantage of these situations, wanting dinners, hotel rooms, etc. comped. Some do so to the point that when, say, a restaurant doesn’t give them a freebie, their attitude changes to one of expectancy and ungratefulness.
I loved including her, yet it was challenging to navigate that dynamic. It’s heartbreaking to recognize how some people equate being needed with being valued. But, on the other hand if what they do gave Barbara happiness, then I guess that family brightened her life. Too bad they couldn’t feel joy from their relationship with her, it seems like Barbara had a heart of gold.
Thank you Julie, it gives me a lot to think and reflect on this morning.
Wow - you see you have own little real life story right there about Betty Jo! I bet that would be interesting to read too. Yes these people are everywhere and there’s a balance to be struck between be inclusive and supportive and not exploiting.
And thank you what you said about the story telling too. They are very vivid memories for me. :)
What a writer you are! To evoke 'memories' in the reader for things that never happened to them is a special gift. Cherish it, and above all, use it!
Thank you so much. I appreciate that it moved you in some way.
Really enjoyed that, thank you!
I just added a comment cause I thought “oh….no-one has said anything….what does that mean?” 😬And then the doubt kicks in a little. So thank you so much for yours. :)I’m glad you enjoyed it.
Wow! This was excellent! I agree on buffets and the poor treatment of Barbara. That point about elevating bad habits of people we love was an interesting thought! Loved reading this!
Oh thank you Deb. Appreciate that. Shame no-one appreciated Barbara, eh? :)
Nicotine-stained anaglypta and the working man’s club. Did you ever meet my dad. His order was 40 Woodbines.
Touching story. How our lives were different.
Thank you for your comment. Yes, another era
You're such a great writer Julie. I visually imagine everything, every detail, as I read. My granddad was a horse better. Every single day until he passed. He would say, "when I win the pools I'll send for you." Makes me soppy eyed. I thought about the men in the family, all at the local pubs. Uncle Ernie and Uncle Squibbs. My uncle, who just passed, always having a drink at the local pub. And Barbara. How very sad. My heart sank, like yours, to know she worked for friendship, isolated, alienated due to her drinking perhaps? and died alone so tragically. Thank you for the story. It's good to write about these things. Makes us think. Sending you much love and a big hug. Glad you're back. oxox
Thanks for your supportive comments, they mean a lot. Yes my grandad liked a flutter on the horses too, in many ways I think it was a generational thing although of course me being an animal lover (like yourself), it’s really not my bag. Attitudes have changed about that a little I think.
The pools. Yes another blast from the past! My mum used to do those :)
You managed to capture up north in the 80’s brilliantly. I remember those days, when girls were called Mandy. You don’t hear it any more.
No, it’s a real 70s name isn’t it? (As in people born then) As is Julie😂
You took me right back in to those lounges in pubs, the smells, sticky red carpet, mission brown chairs and resident bar flies. I grew up in an inner city suburb of Melbourne in the 70s, through to the early 80s and then moved across town to another inner city suburb. They are now all gentrified. Had older friends who played in bands, so met many colourful characters, including Barbaras. Many of the people l was mixing with were 15-20 years older than me … l resonated with what l saw as an open acceptance, though l see it differently now, as you do, ofcourse. I am grateful that the old bar flies, on the whole, were safe for us to be around. Great story Julie, thank you 🙏😊
Thank you. Yes it was another era. The same
is happening here with the pubs, many are being taken over by chains or often have booming sports on screens, and as a result they have lost their character. I miss the old style places. There was a leisurely vibe to them that’s very much lacking today.
Yep, not to mention 20$ for a bowl of chips 🤦♀️. Live bands in pubs, so rare it has lost its local essence.yeah, l miss it too, and smoking 😂😊🙏
The smoking thing has gotten ridiculous. As with everything they go beyond sensible and take matters to extremes (and I don’t even smoke!😂🤷♀️)
I stopped smoking 19 years ago when l hit 40 and rewarded myself with a motorbike 😂. I still like to roll them for friends who smoke 😂🤦♀️
Oh wow - a motorbike!!!!
Yeah, mad as a cut snake as my mother would attest. Still mad, though without bike and limbs still intact 😊🤣🙌🏻
Great stuff. Some real pathos there with poor Barbara. I like the way that you create an atmosphere that is both welcoming and repellent at the same time. The way the characters are capable of charm and acceptance but are also quite mercenary. It reminded me of when I used to watch Shameless on Channel 4 (with Frank Gallagher in the central role of alkie). There was an attractive warmth and sense of community to it, but amongst the chaos and deprivation, you were glad not to live there yourself.
When I first used to hang around the estate, it was attractive to me, I felt grown up and free there. Certainly I became more streetwise as a result of the encounters I had, but with adult eyes I see it in a different light.
So many memories here, Julie. The life within the working man’s club is a unique one, for sure. This story was really touching.
Thank you. Yes, those places are so British aren’t they?
Absolutely- and the beige buffet complete with gateaux!
Always those gateaux eh? Usually a Black Forest one 😂
To be fair, I loved the Black Forest one! 😂
Yes me too 😂
Love the ones no one loves; cherish their memory. Some starlit Day on the other side of Forever, a Beautiful Stranger will approach through the mists, to tell the story of You and how You changed their life...
love them, and await the Day
❤️ indeed
This is life, which I love about the story. Truly lovely. Thank you for the Wednesday lift✨
Yes the bittersweet of life eh?
Thanks for reading and commenting, glad it was relatable.
I loved that! You transported me back to the 80s, I felt like I was there with you! Poor Barbara, I hope she's up there now having a good time with the ready salted crisps and Mothers Pride sandwiches. 😘
Aww thanks. Mother’s Pride eh? Brands of yesteryear! Poor Barbara indeed. So many more like her as well, sadly.
Just finished reading g this. Caught my attention at 'working mens club, Brylcreme and horses'. My late dad was a customer of all 3! He would have hated these depressing tines we live in now. His estate got rid of the club it's now a bloody Herons! 😳
I remember asking my mum about it. “Why do loads of old fellas have greasy slicked back hair?” And she told me, it’s what they did when they were young and they never changed it.” Same with the women who have the sets.
It's so painful to look back now at old Great Britain times and realise how we were all socially engineered without us even figuring it out. The days of the council estates and comprehensive shit education system. And so on....
Yes I don’t think council estates even exist now, all ‘social housing’. And back in my grandma’s day it was ‘the corporation’. That’s what she used to call the council.