Rope
I’ll tie myself in knots today
With rope of ‘I can’t cope’
Step in my cage of inner rage
Detach myself from hope
.
I’ll treat myself like shit
Because my efforts aren’t enough
Then beat myself for it
I’m not alone to have it tough
.
I’ll cram my brain with old distractions
Fill my body with whatever
Survival mode reaction
It won’t be this way forever
.
Cheerleader watches in disgrace
Her project hits the rocks
With disappointment on her face
She begs for me to stop
.
How do we halt momentum
Once we’re hurtling to the bottom?
Reverse the urge to self destruct
Find fighting spirit we’ve forgotten?
.
I revive my inner warrior
On breaths of battles that I’ve won
Self pity does no favours
I was made to overcome
PS: If you enjoyed this post, you may also like this one.
Reading back this poem, I see the tarot card "the hanged man". Many things we can't control but so often the hanged man hangs himself by tightening his own noose. His instinct is to finish the job because it's all doomed anyway. But if you hold the rope, you still have some control, don't you? Hold that thought.
Another thought to hold is the many types of knots there are.
Channel your boyscout or girlguide and remember how learning each knot is just another skill.
We won't get a badge but the more types of knot we tie and unpick, the more accomplished we become in the art of survival.
I’d often felt this way in my life. Especially when I was younger. Strangely enough, this nightmare forced on us since 2020 seems to have taught me so much about the strengths and coping mechanisms I possess. Unfortunately for the evils forcing this life on us, they have made so many of us stronger and more resolute than we ever thought possible. For those creatures…….that’s a BIG mistake.