As a 5 year old I wasn’t interested in dolls. My grandparents bought me many different dolls and my great aunt knitted all sorts of clothing for them. The dolls all lived in the cupboard under the stairs. Meanwhile I was out on my bike everyday roaming the streets with my lone star holster, gun and caps complete with cowboy hat too. I grew up and turned into a girlie girl who loves pink🤷♀️
Gender ideology is very damaging to our kids. The indoctrination in our schools to encourage young confused minds to change sex on a whim is appalling. Parents are being marginalised. The doctors doing surgery on these children for gender reassignment should be struck off.
I think part of the problem is that for the people who fall victim to thinking they are the opposite sex is that it seems so real to them. Their mentality is their reality. Whereas years ago we would as a society have reassured them they were fine as they were, these days we reaffirm their delusion.
Yes it’s disgusting what goes on in America surgically/medically with minors and to some extent here too with puberty blockers but I have most disdain for the parents gaslighting little ones into their own preference as to what their already perfect child should be.
I absolutely agree Julie. These children are actively encouraged to question their gender at a time when they need emotional support and in some cases help with their mental fragility. Parents using their own children as a social experiment is probably the worse scenario.
It’s very sad that all the stuff our grandparents and parents did to edge us away from stereotypes of what a girl or boy ‘should’ be, particularly in terms of dismantling how they should look and roles they should perform, is now regressing.
The message and aspiration must surely be that a person has no limit put upon them by the genitalia they were born with, other than the very real physical restrictions they come with (ie a man can’t have a baby).
If people understood that, maybe they would be less obsessed by the idea of transitioning.
I think there is a lot around in ‘truther circles’ around the concept of reclaiming masculinity.
Whilst I can see the need for a backlash - because I do believe there is an agenda to shame and change men - I think we have to be careful in the process not to hero worship a certain type of male or female because it would also mean devaluing men or women who didn’t conform to that supposed ideal.
I agree. The vogue for hairless males is an example of this. People have hair on their bodies. Fact!
First women were encouraged to get rid of it to appear child like and now men are targeted with it too.
A friend told me her teenage daughters told her their boyfriends shave themselves of pubic hair in order to make their penises appear bigger. It’s insane.
Strange isn’t it. That said, I’m a fan of a little delicate topiary for ladies and even some men (yes me 🤣) require a bit of a trim to avoid looking like a gorilla.
‘Gender is a social construct.’ Spot on and with it comes the social baggage so beloved by those seeking to create division in advancement of political agendas.
I watched this the other day and it helped greatly to firm up my stance on this issue. It’s a fab interview and I am now interested to read some of the books mentioned.
That’s what people need to do around this - ‘think’.
I feel the debate so often gets lost in its own heat. The issue for me is gender. If gender wasn’t *a thing* or was given way less attention and social currency,
I believe we’d see fewer people feeling the need to transition. They would realise that what they wanted to ‘be’ or felt they were, was less important than their physical reality.
This is gonna be super controversial, but I just don't understand how gender identity works. I was born female and treated accordingly, so most of my experiences are influenced by my sex. The world treats me like a woman, and that's how I know that I am a woman, regardless of whether or not I choose to meet the expectations of "femininity" and the like. But I'm curious how someone who was assigned male at birth know that they are a woman, and where their idea of womanhood comes from.
My view is that I don’t believe they do- ‘know’ that is. I believe it is mental illness indulged by a culture keen both to profiteer by means of surgeries, counselling etc and to push harmful stereotypes (the porn industry for example)
And that’s the thing. Often when trans people are asked why they feel like a woman they cite examples such as “wanting to play with dolls”, “wanting to wear dresses” which we know are stereotypes and have nothing to do with being a female.
Maybe people treat you as a woman because you are one. And I don’t even mean that in terms of the physical indicators that may give you away as one. Whilst this will have some impact, people also sense authenticity.
True, just like in your example with Karen and the teacher. That the teacher first thought she was a boy (based on her appearance) doesn't make her not a girl. She may look/behave in a way that boys stereotypically do, but that doesn't make her a boy. But looking or acting like a woman/man doesn't make you a woman/man, there's a difference between femininity/masculinity and womanhood/manhood.
And what's annoying is that you can't even ask about how it all works without being called transphobic.
Precisely. I wish no hate on those who say they are trans but I can’t indulge or support it, just as I wouldn’t for any other mental illness.
Industries like porn have pushed stereotypes of women and led many to believe they can’t be female because they don’t fit that stereotype. Same sadly applies the other way too. Many teenage boys also question their masculinity because they feel unease with male stereotypes too. Years ago, many of these people would have been classed as gay, lesbian, a bit camp or butch (I’m not endorsing nor condoning those descriptions btw). Today, sadly they are prey to thinking it makes them less of a man or woman. It does not.
I agree. The people who have suffered most from this ideology are children, women and transsexual people who, before all this, were just getting on with their lives. They have been made a political football. The damage already done is incalculable and far reaching.
I have watched with mounting horror. What we need is for more high profile people in government and all areas of society to be braver, and say what most people know to be true. Politicians cannot duck these issues, try as they might!
There is a lot of divisiveness at the moment about it.
Just as we thought we’d done away with damaging and limiting beliefs about gender, it is reignited as the blinkered religion du jour. it ties in very much to the current vogue for “my” truth too, the idea a reality can be personalised to suit an individual perspective.
Sounds like my views chime with yours. Gender stereotyping has set us back decades. Everything that was achieved in feminism's second wave is being lost. Unscrupulous people who think they can profit from this (politicians, big pharma and others) are throwing women and children under the bus. The pursuit of power and money are two great evils. It seems that huge numbers of people would sell their souls for one or the other.
I see your perspective, but what’s the harm in someone who feels out of place in their born sex, having a new sex provided for them?
In the same way it is more comfortable for Karen who feels confident in her female sex to remain female while not fulfilling gender stereotypes, is it not also important for someone like Karen who does not feel comfortable in their born sex to be allowed to be who they are?
I suppose it depends on what you believe to be possible. I do not believe it is possible to turn a male into a female and vice versa. I think it is a case of mental health problems exploited by Big Pharma for profit.
The difference for me between sexuality and trans ideology is that one is comfortable with/celebrating one’s own body, the other seeks to deny and possibly harm it (with drugs and surgery).
That said I wish no ill. If the person wanting to live that way, wants to, so long as they are an adult and don’t ask me to go along with it, good luck to them. Where I live is very liberal and there are many living that way. Fair enough.
As for ‘what’s the harm?’ Well once we get casual about these things, we have a situation like has happened today where a male broke a woman’s nose in the name of sport. We have to be careful. Hate is wrong but so is encroachment on to well earned women’s rights and spaces.
Women’s rights have a far way to go and I don’t believe that my rights as a woman are encroached upon when someone elects to live their life as the sex they prefer. Mental health problems can result from forcing people to adopt an ideology based on binary social gender identity.
Neither of us is trans, so we are incapable of speaking from a trans perspective, but my guess is that if they are willing to undergo gender reassignment surgery that they have put a tremendous amount of thought into it. They must deem it best for their overall physical and mental wellbeing.
As for Big Pharma, I believe pharmaceutical companies spend so many years developing drugs that to assume them to be the cause of an expression of humanity that has been identified throughout history is a hypothesis that will not be proven true.
I think we have very different views on this matter.
My take has been formed observing ‘trans’ children I know. I used to support it but now I see the damage the affirmation can do. My friend has an autistic 18 year old with a history of MH problems who wants a double mastectomy. I find it very sad and I don’t think it will make her happy.
I appreciate you commenting. Always good to hear to people with different views to my own.
I appreciate your perspective and your writing. I thank you for not being offending by my comments, and I agree that her agreement may not have been fully informed. Nor do I advocate for blood sport.
My opinion comes from people I have met and from what I have read concerning mental health of LGBTQIA who aren’t given proper support with gender reassignment as youth.
Thank you for being pleasant and discussing things in a civil way.
Hey, so, they were both girls. 🤷🏼♀️ And yeah, live and let live. Love everyone and allow them room to be themselves with love and respect for all. Hope you have a nice day! 🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈
As a 5 year old I wasn’t interested in dolls. My grandparents bought me many different dolls and my great aunt knitted all sorts of clothing for them. The dolls all lived in the cupboard under the stairs. Meanwhile I was out on my bike everyday roaming the streets with my lone star holster, gun and caps complete with cowboy hat too. I grew up and turned into a girlie girl who loves pink🤷♀️
Gender ideology is very damaging to our kids. The indoctrination in our schools to encourage young confused minds to change sex on a whim is appalling. Parents are being marginalised. The doctors doing surgery on these children for gender reassignment should be struck off.
I think part of the problem is that for the people who fall victim to thinking they are the opposite sex is that it seems so real to them. Their mentality is their reality. Whereas years ago we would as a society have reassured them they were fine as they were, these days we reaffirm their delusion.
Yes it’s disgusting what goes on in America surgically/medically with minors and to some extent here too with puberty blockers but I have most disdain for the parents gaslighting little ones into their own preference as to what their already perfect child should be.
I absolutely agree Julie. These children are actively encouraged to question their gender at a time when they need emotional support and in some cases help with their mental fragility. Parents using their own children as a social experiment is probably the worse scenario.
It’s very sad that all the stuff our grandparents and parents did to edge us away from stereotypes of what a girl or boy ‘should’ be, particularly in terms of dismantling how they should look and roles they should perform, is now regressing.
The message and aspiration must surely be that a person has no limit put upon them by the genitalia they were born with, other than the very real physical restrictions they come with (ie a man can’t have a baby).
If people understood that, maybe they would be less obsessed by the idea of transitioning.
I think there is a lot around in ‘truther circles’ around the concept of reclaiming masculinity.
Whilst I can see the need for a backlash - because I do believe there is an agenda to shame and change men - I think we have to be careful in the process not to hero worship a certain type of male or female because it would also mean devaluing men or women who didn’t conform to that supposed ideal.
💯 there is an agenda against masculinity. My youngest daughter is poisoned with it.
I agree. The vogue for hairless males is an example of this. People have hair on their bodies. Fact!
First women were encouraged to get rid of it to appear child like and now men are targeted with it too.
A friend told me her teenage daughters told her their boyfriends shave themselves of pubic hair in order to make their penises appear bigger. It’s insane.
Strange isn’t it. That said, I’m a fan of a little delicate topiary for ladies and even some men (yes me 🤣) require a bit of a trim to avoid looking like a gorilla.
😂We all have personal preferences. I hear you. A bit of light garden maintenance is not the same as flagging over to make a patio though is it? ;)
Haha exactly 🤣🤣🤣
Excellent article, thanks.
‘Gender is a social construct.’ Spot on and with it comes the social baggage so beloved by those seeking to create division in advancement of political agendas.
Thank you and yes, absolutely.
I watched this the other day and it helped greatly to firm up my stance on this issue. It’s a fab interview and I am now interested to read some of the books mentioned.
https://youtu.be/hu72Lu5FqE4
Thanks. I will have a look.
I really felt for Karen - and the teacher. OMG cringe 😬 Thanks for your piece, which cuts through the BS.
She was a bit of a tough cookie bless her. Last I heard, she was working with birds of prey. It suited her. Kaz n Kez😂
Yes - was the teacher an early defender of female spaces who’d just made a mistake or was she a harsh insensitive nasty pasty?
Maybe both.
Thoughtful piece. Thanks, Julie.
That’s what people need to do around this - ‘think’.
I feel the debate so often gets lost in its own heat. The issue for me is gender. If gender wasn’t *a thing* or was given way less attention and social currency,
I believe we’d see fewer people feeling the need to transition. They would realise that what they wanted to ‘be’ or felt they were, was less important than their physical reality.
Totally agree with that 😊
This is gonna be super controversial, but I just don't understand how gender identity works. I was born female and treated accordingly, so most of my experiences are influenced by my sex. The world treats me like a woman, and that's how I know that I am a woman, regardless of whether or not I choose to meet the expectations of "femininity" and the like. But I'm curious how someone who was assigned male at birth know that they are a woman, and where their idea of womanhood comes from.
My view is that I don’t believe they do- ‘know’ that is. I believe it is mental illness indulged by a culture keen both to profiteer by means of surgeries, counselling etc and to push harmful stereotypes (the porn industry for example)
And that’s the thing. Often when trans people are asked why they feel like a woman they cite examples such as “wanting to play with dolls”, “wanting to wear dresses” which we know are stereotypes and have nothing to do with being a female.
Maybe people treat you as a woman because you are one. And I don’t even mean that in terms of the physical indicators that may give you away as one. Whilst this will have some impact, people also sense authenticity.
True, just like in your example with Karen and the teacher. That the teacher first thought she was a boy (based on her appearance) doesn't make her not a girl. She may look/behave in a way that boys stereotypically do, but that doesn't make her a boy. But looking or acting like a woman/man doesn't make you a woman/man, there's a difference between femininity/masculinity and womanhood/manhood.
And what's annoying is that you can't even ask about how it all works without being called transphobic.
Precisely. I wish no hate on those who say they are trans but I can’t indulge or support it, just as I wouldn’t for any other mental illness.
Industries like porn have pushed stereotypes of women and led many to believe they can’t be female because they don’t fit that stereotype. Same sadly applies the other way too. Many teenage boys also question their masculinity because they feel unease with male stereotypes too. Years ago, many of these people would have been classed as gay, lesbian, a bit camp or butch (I’m not endorsing nor condoning those descriptions btw). Today, sadly they are prey to thinking it makes them less of a man or woman. It does not.
Same, I have nothing against the people, but the idea is pretty hard for me to grasp.
Hear hear !
I agree. The people who have suffered most from this ideology are children, women and transsexual people who, before all this, were just getting on with their lives. They have been made a political football. The damage already done is incalculable and far reaching.
I think lesbian women have suffered greatly. They are told they must accept transwomen as potential partners or else they are transphobic.
I have watched with mounting horror. What we need is for more high profile people in government and all areas of society to be braver, and say what most people know to be true. Politicians cannot duck these issues, try as they might!
Indeed.
There is a lot of divisiveness at the moment about it.
Just as we thought we’d done away with damaging and limiting beliefs about gender, it is reignited as the blinkered religion du jour. it ties in very much to the current vogue for “my” truth too, the idea a reality can be personalised to suit an individual perspective.
Sounds like my views chime with yours. Gender stereotyping has set us back decades. Everything that was achieved in feminism's second wave is being lost. Unscrupulous people who think they can profit from this (politicians, big pharma and others) are throwing women and children under the bus. The pursuit of power and money are two great evils. It seems that huge numbers of people would sell their souls for one or the other.
I see your perspective, but what’s the harm in someone who feels out of place in their born sex, having a new sex provided for them?
In the same way it is more comfortable for Karen who feels confident in her female sex to remain female while not fulfilling gender stereotypes, is it not also important for someone like Karen who does not feel comfortable in their born sex to be allowed to be who they are?
I suppose it depends on what you believe to be possible. I do not believe it is possible to turn a male into a female and vice versa. I think it is a case of mental health problems exploited by Big Pharma for profit.
The difference for me between sexuality and trans ideology is that one is comfortable with/celebrating one’s own body, the other seeks to deny and possibly harm it (with drugs and surgery).
That said I wish no ill. If the person wanting to live that way, wants to, so long as they are an adult and don’t ask me to go along with it, good luck to them. Where I live is very liberal and there are many living that way. Fair enough.
As for ‘what’s the harm?’ Well once we get casual about these things, we have a situation like has happened today where a male broke a woman’s nose in the name of sport. We have to be careful. Hate is wrong but so is encroachment on to well earned women’s rights and spaces.
Women’s rights have a far way to go and I don’t believe that my rights as a woman are encroached upon when someone elects to live their life as the sex they prefer. Mental health problems can result from forcing people to adopt an ideology based on binary social gender identity.
Neither of us is trans, so we are incapable of speaking from a trans perspective, but my guess is that if they are willing to undergo gender reassignment surgery that they have put a tremendous amount of thought into it. They must deem it best for their overall physical and mental wellbeing.
As for Big Pharma, I believe pharmaceutical companies spend so many years developing drugs that to assume them to be the cause of an expression of humanity that has been identified throughout history is a hypothesis that will not be proven true.
With sport, they both agreed to the fight. 🤷🏼♀️
When is agreement coercion?
I think we have very different views on this matter.
My take has been formed observing ‘trans’ children I know. I used to support it but now I see the damage the affirmation can do. My friend has an autistic 18 year old with a history of MH problems who wants a double mastectomy. I find it very sad and I don’t think it will make her happy.
I appreciate you commenting. Always good to hear to people with different views to my own.
I appreciate your perspective and your writing. I thank you for not being offending by my comments, and I agree that her agreement may not have been fully informed. Nor do I advocate for blood sport.
My opinion comes from people I have met and from what I have read concerning mental health of LGBTQIA who aren’t given proper support with gender reassignment as youth.
Thank you for being pleasant and discussing things in a civil way.
Ditto. It’s how we grow :)
Hey, so, they were both girls. 🤷🏼♀️ And yeah, live and let live. Love everyone and allow them room to be themselves with love and respect for all. Hope you have a nice day! 🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈