Autumn will soon be upon us, and with it, Halloween.
Well, I like a convincing monster just as much as the rest of em, so thought I’d take a peek in The Fancy Dress Shop, see who the latest Bogeymen were.
Keep it fresh.
Turns out, there are more than ever this year. Who knew!
“But what’s popular?”
I asked the Shopkeeper.
“You know, trending? Who do Brits really hate right now? What frightens the shit out of them? I want to stay current, don’t wanna be turning up to the party in my Savile tracksuit when the world has moved on”
“Well…..”
Said the Shopkeeper, bringing out a box of crude looking costumes.
“I call these my ‘go tos’”
He said, proceeding to hold up a selection of hijabs, oversized hooked prosthetic noses, and rainbow wigs
“My most popular monsters! I give you…… ‘The Muslim’, ‘The Jew’ and ‘The Woker’”
He said proudly.
“Sorry, what?”
I said in disbelief.
“Yeah”
He said casually.
“Excuse the generalisation and vulgarity, but people do love their stereotypes, don’t they? Saves them having to think too deeply. No-one likes a complex villain!
I think he could see by the look on my face that I wasn’t impressed.
“Oh, I see…..a Lefty, are you?”
He enquired.
“No….I…..”
I began, bristling at the very thought.
“Because if you are, I can sell you ‘The Gammon’, if you want?”
He continued.
“Or if you’re after something more specific, then maybe The JK Rowling? She seems to piss your lot off, doesn’t she? Or what about an Andrew Tate?”
“My lot? No!”
I protested.
“The Farage? The Trump? The Musk? Tommy Robinson? Hey, can’t go wrong with The Tommeh, can you? Lefties hate him.”
“No! No! Look…….I don’t consider myself left or right wing……..although I do quite like Rowling.”
“My Bonnie Blue stretches to cover all bases”
“I’m sure she does. No! Have you not got something a bit more……..libertarian?”
I enquired hopefully.
“Oh, I geddit. One of those Conspiracy Theorists, are we?”
“Well, I prefer Critical Thinker, but go on….”
“The Klaus Schwab? Oh! And I also have a Bill Gates! Comes with his own lab-grown hot beef injection”
“STOP!”
I demanded.
“They’re SO 2020. Besides, I don’t want caricatures. I want depth. I like my villains a little more ……. understated. You know, the ‘thinking girl’s monster’.”
The Shopkeeper pondered for a moment
“Hm…..people SAY that but rich old guys in suits don’t capture the imagination quite the same. No-one REALLY wants realism! Could you even name a shareholder or CEO who helped up your energy bill? A criminal mastermind who orchestrates illegal immigration operations? A land owner who burns moorland heather for grouse shooting that would stop towns from flooding?”
“Tsk! Not THAT low key, stupid! People can’t be expected to hate on some well dressed rich man no-one’s even heard of!”
I said.
“Well, even so far as more well known ones are concerned, could your Average Joe really pick out his George Soros from his David Rockefeller Junior?”
Dude had a point…..
“The one thing all these characters have in common, is that they’re so disposable and interchangeable. Get rid of one and something similar pops up immediately in its place, don’t you find?”
I told him.
“True. Sometimes you can’t beat an old classic, Jeffrey for example…..”
“Dahmer?”
“No, Epstein.”
“Stop! Look…….stop wasting my time!”
I snapped angrily.
“I came here looking for an authentic, contemporary bogeyman. Someone recognisable that I can regularly, reliably hate on. You could call it ‘sustainable hate’. I don’t want to be chopping and changing all the time, I demand value for my hate figure, dread for my dollar, prolonged poison for my pound, woe for my Wickerman. I want someone who will bring me many years of horror, panic and revulsion”
“In that case, there’s only one thing for it”
said The Shopkeeper obligingly.
“But I have tell you…….it’s not gonna be comfortable, nor pretty……”
At once, he drew back a curtain and I found I was faced with nothing.
Nothing, but a humble mirror.
This is my way of addressing all the finger pointing going on right now, how it divides and hurts communities.
Of course there are real issues that need tackling right now (immigration being one), but be sure to direct your energy where it’s most needed and useful and choose to see human beings over divisive labels, every time. ❤️
Same happening in Ireland, Julie and quite possibly in other countries too. you're doing great work, highlighting things in such a unique way. Cheers!