In It Together
Lots of people died today.
Many will have died because of complications due to seasonal illnesses. It’s January after all.
Many will have died because of adverse reactions to vaccines.
Many will have died because they languished too long on waiting lists, unable to have face to face consultations during lockdowns.
Many will have died because of a deterioration of their mental health as a result of the last few years.
Many will have felt the shortcomings of the NHS up close and personal.
Many will have been younger than 56.
Many will have had devoted carers who couldn’t take time off from their caring duties to write books or make TV documentaries.
You know - they were too busy doing less fun stuff, like carrying on wiping arses and emptying bed pans.
Caring is usually 24/7. If you get time off to write a book or do a TV documentary or two, then you’re getting more respite than most.
Many carers will have wanted the story of their loved one’s plight telling, but will not have been able to garner the funds or media interest necessary to do so.
Their loved one won’t get the gushing tributes from the big names, Insta outpourings, the star studded funeral.
After all, It’s not fashionable to say something heartfelt about any old Joe Bloggs, is it?
I can’t - and won’t - celebrate a person dying or grieving. It’s not right. Someone loved them.
But giving one fella and his wife special attention because the alleged cause of death aligns with a particular hobby horse is equally as inappropriate.
Why is one man’s passing - and his illness before that - rammed down throats like a duck being force fed?
What are we being primed for exactly?
Who decides that one life is worth more coverage than the lives of countless others?
Just because their relative has the means or inclination to showboat them Captain Tom styley, does NOT make that that death any more important than any of those other people who died today or over the last few years.
Their cause of death is no more noteworthy.
Most grieving families don’t have ‘followings’ to report to.
They’re in the trenches RIGHT NOW.
They’re planning funerals without PR teams.
They’re wondering how they’ll get through the weekend - not the next TV shoot.
So how about we devote a little time and energy to thinking about THOSE people too?
You can write as many books as you like, but when death takes someone we love, whatever the cause, we learn fast.
We’re all “in it together” in one way only.
There is no sequel.
Oh thank you so much for writing this Julie. It’s been just over a year now since H ‘died suddenly’. I have no proof about what hastened his death but I know in my heart what brought it about. He refused to listen to me and it cost him his life. I would love to be able to acknowledge that and at least talk openly about it but his family would go ballistic at me suggesting such an outrageous idea. I’ve decided I have to try let it go and recover myself this year.
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏