Having Principles

A dying tradition?

We met this week, a friend and I.

When I’d had my facepainting business, we’d been friendly rivals, passing work each other’s way, as well as hooking up for big events.

“I’ve got loads on for the Coronation”

She said excitedly.

“I couldn’t do it.”

I told her.

“Because I don’t agree with it.”

I’m nothing if not frank with people.

“I’ve always admired you for that…..sticking to your principles about things.”

She said, recalling an occasion I’d forgotten,  when we’d been offered some lucrative work at a petting farm.

I’ve never liked the places. Always felt that not only do they treat vulnerable baby animals as commodified activities, but that they also give children a false impression of farms.

I’d declined the gig - and the good money - and she’d worked it with someone else.

“I just see the cash, and do it”

She readily admitted.

“Plenty do”

I said.

“There will be loads of people celebrating the Coronation who disagree with it”

I smiled, remembering a piece I’d written about the Jubilee commenting my leftie mates had  ‘sold their soul for a sausage roll’, and it’s true.

But it’s something I struggle with.

After all, principles are like air fryers.

If you’re not gonna use em, they’re just taking up unnecessary space, right?

Later at home, this conversation led me to ponder,  what does ‘having principles’ mean?

Do people still have them, and why are some so quick to abandon them?

As far as a general definition was concerned, I came up with ‘rules for life that cannot be bargained with’.

As to whether people still had them, it made sense to do the ‘zoom out, zoom in’ thing. Look at the broader societal picture, first.

I considered whether having principles was old fashioned.

How could forfeiting anything for a greater good have a place in a world where instant gratification was king?

(Well, that and the shiny, red guy…)

Is it possible, that modern society is so at odds with itself over the bedrock of right and wrong, that it’s not only difficult to find your values, but further more, see how a firm stance would benefit such a fragmented world?

Then of course, at the same time this division and sub division is occurring, there is also a push for groupthink. The ‘be kind’ and virtue signalling we have become so familiar with.

Has an age that values ‘compromise’ so highly, unwittingly thrown ‘principles’ under the bus as sacrifice? They are after all, concepts that are at odds with each other.

The thing is, most people will still tell you they have them.

No-one wants to be thought of as the pointless amoeba, floating merrily along in a sea of shit.

We all want a stake in the steak.

Until, that is, it’s a little too rare and the blood flows.

“I hate the monarchy”

People will tell you next weekend - whilst sporting a Union Jack hat and cramming in a red, white and blue cup cake.

“I didn’t agree with the mask mandate”

They’ll admit. Then tell you they went along with them because they didn’t want to cause a scene in Tesco’s.

Having principles can be costly.

What if one’s values do not align to the current fad?  Even worse….. if they ‘offend’ others?

As many have found out, you can be left out of pocket and your reputation trashed.

The reasons people ditch their standards can be summarised in three words - short term reward.

Sometimes, its the quick hit of an associated high - cash, sex, alcohol, drugs, sugar or whatever floats your dopamine canoe.

Other times, it’s simply the lure of a smooth path - or avoidance of one that seems more difficult.

Having principles often means going against the grain and things can get rather awkward. You will find yourself either having to speak up or find excuses for avoiding things you disagree with.

So why have them?

For me, it’s an understanding of the pitfalls of short-termism, a gratification found in doing what you believe to be the ‘right’ thing, and a slight optimism that our individual actions will impact positively and make the world a better place.

But personally speaking, the greatest reason to have and live by them, is the way I feel inside when I don’t.

There is no steeper learning curve than going along with something you oppose and living with the consequences of that.

I’ve done it, that’s how I know.

You probably have too at some point in your life.

And the way it feels, I have concluded, is simply not worth it.

At best it’s icky, a little uncomfortable.

Like forgetting to clean your teeth or sleeping in your make up.

At worst, rejecting your core beliefs will stalk your mind as a bogey man.

He will appear as passenger aboard the most mundane trains of thought, doffing his cap to reveal a familiar grotesque face.

The face you will have to see time and time again.

The worst image of all - that of your own disgusting, disappointing weakness and self betrayal.

Principles are not luggage.

You don’t put them down when you fancy a breather, no matter how heavy they get. They are integral, defining you as bones.

They raise you as a skeleton gives form to skin. They are what separates us from animals. The capacity to apply a moral code and long range thinking.

And this is why they require deliberation.

They should be personal to oneself.

Yes, you can abide by the rules of a religion, political ideology or simply copy a celebrity. But it would be nonsensical to blindly do this.

Ask yourself, why is said principle important to you?

What impact do you see your actions or inaction having?

What could the possible price be of sticking to your guns at all costs?

You have to know your line in the sand because one day you will encounter it.

I invite you to have a ‘principles clear out’.

Ditch the ones you are unsure of.

Keep only those you feel passionately about and wear them brightly as golden thread right the way through you. 

Show them proudly to the world.

And make peace with the fact that at some point they may indeed cost you friends, money, relationships, your job.

But that thread of beautiful gold running all the way through you as a constant, will remain.

When all the cash is spent, when all the parties are over, when fair weather friends have found another rainbow, you may be left with nothing but yourself and this golden thread.

But you will sleep well.