“End of the Line”

More than ‘being kind’ is needed when it comes to mental illness.

A few days ago, I found myself on a train with someone who was clearly mentally unstable.

A ticket officer had asked to see his ticket.

He’d admitted he did not possess one.

He was then asked where he was going and replied, and continued to repeat with a despondent stare;

“End of the line.”

Was there ever a more obvious cry for help?

What I witnessed next, was testament to the cruellest elements of human nature.

This man, as I saw it, was hounded and harassed. It was made clear the train would not move until he got off or bought a ticket.

He would not - or could not - buy a ticket.

He was placid, calmly spoken.

At first.

Passengers began to go over to him and tell him he was holding them up, that he was being selfish. Each acted as cheerleader for the next and the ranks closed in.

One guy got off the train and banged the train window loudly where he sat, swearing at him aggressively. Another, leaned across and told him others wanted to attack him!

I was with my son so was limited what I could do, yet at the same time, it was an opportunity to show what not to.

I went over quietly and simply told him that not everyone on the train was horrible, some of us understood, and offered him some chewing gum.

Unfortunately, it was too little too late. This man could stand no more and sadly, a physical attack took place.

I believe, it could all have been avoided.

The takeaway?

Depression and mental health issues do not always look as we expect them to.

Those suffering won’t always present as the TV friendly version - a lonely young man in a bedsit or a sweet old lady nursing a ready meal for one.

They won’t always be freshly bathed, just looking a bit glum.

Often, they will look like the very kind of people you’d want to run away from.

Often, you will not be alone when you encounter them.

It’s easy to walk towards a fizzle.

Not so much the fire.

But people with mental illness don’t pop up like sad dogs on Christmas cards at convenient times. They are among us NOW - working with us, using public transport, libraries and cafes. They can’t tailor their hideous flood to meet the expectations of your pretty little umbrella.

So much is made of ‘checking in’ on people you know, asking if they ‘need to talk’.

What about those you don’t know?

What about doing something other than talking?

What about reading the subtext that screams beneath the spoken script?

What about asking someone what they need instead of making assumptions?

Perhaps they need time, space, practical help?

As humans, we can’t help but make things about us, apply our own experience as frame of reference for all possible solutions.

We ‘wanted to talk’ ……so he must.

We ‘needed a kick up the arse’ ……so she must.

Our child was ‘just playing up’ so theirs must be too.

But doing better requires we look beyond our own comfortable definitions.

Right now, public praise is piled onto the late Sinead O’Connor. The doe-eyed, shaven haired songstress a generation fell in love with.

But what about who she became?

A tear drop trickling down the dollish porcelain cheek of a young woman missing her lover is acceptable.

The rants of a flabby faced ageing Islam convert grieving a child, are somehow, not.

The era of hashtag kindness is OVER!

And people presenting with the less palatable, more extreme sides of mental health issues are the tip of a hugely submerged iceberg.

Nearly everyone I know these days, confesses to having a condition, disorder or illness.  Some, more debilitating than others, granted,  but if so many of us feel anxious, panicked, paranoid, lethargic or emotional, then it’s surely time to consider environmental factors. 

After all, if most of the fish in a pond were sick, would we not be addressing water quality rather than trying to medicate them all?

What’s going wrong externally to make us collectively more jittery, burdened, worried, jaded, insecure?

Could it be related to hormones in our food chain, chemicals in the soil, fluoride in the water or dubious ingredients in ‘routine’ vaccines and medicines?

Could it be related to machines and AI replacing human customer service, screen interactions replacing face to face chats?

Could it be the relentless fearmongering we are subjected to daily, regarding ‘climate change’, the ‘cost of living crisis’ or impending nuclear war?

We are products of our time. Struggling to contain all our vessel is filled with.

It’s time to look at mental health differently.

What is not working for the human race in general?

What are we adding that takes more than it gives?

Which perceived wins are in truth, a false economy?

The man I observed on the train that day thought he wanted the ‘end of the line’.

No, mate.

What we ALL need to do, is get the hell off the crazy train we call modern life and rediscover the essence of our humanity.